This week, I was chatting with an 88-year-old friend of mine. She is a very petite, well-dressed lady. She told me that she would be so much happier if her life was simpler. She said her first step toward simplifying her life is to simplify her wardrobe. Her plan is to stop wearing her carefully chosen outfits. She instead plans to wear only white t-shirts with a pair of pants. Her plan seemed a little bit extreme to me, but I got her point. For her, simplicity is the path to happiness.

Frankly, simplicity is the path to happiness for us all. When our lives are complicated, it is stressful. Having too many belongings, responsibilities and activities isn’t abundance. It is a recipe for aggravation.

Over the years, I’ve known people who purposefully complicate their lives. Instead of doing one activity in a day, they try to pack in six. As a result, every activity is rushed, and none are enjoyable. They make their lives unduly difficult by switching jobs frequently and moving from one place to the next. They are in an impossible quest for that elusive perfect job and that perfect life.

Unfortunately, the desire for busyness comes from an agitated mind. Agitated people make their lives needlessly complicated as a distraction. They are trying to distract themselves from whatever is making them uneasy.

By contrast, calm, happy people have simple lives. They aren’t running from one activity to the next. They don’t have an overabundance of possessions. They take a job and stick with it until it reasonably has run its course. They find a place to live for a long time and become part of the community.

That may sound boring, but happiness doesn’t come from a frenetic lifestyle. You can’t be happy if you are running from one place to another, from one relationship to the next, and from one novel experience to another. You may get some moments of pleasure out of that kind of high-speed lifestyle. But ultimately a complicated, hectic lifestyle gets you nowhere.

Below are some simple ways to simplify your life. And no, I’m not going to suggest that you wear a plain white t-shirt and a pair of pants every day! But there are reasonable steps that you can take to simplify your life and thereby become a more relaxed and happier person.

Purge Your Belongings: In the United States, we are obsessed with having stuff. In fact, many people equate having a lot of stuff with being rich. However, having too much stuff doesn’t mean that you are wealthy. It just means that you don’t know how to shop correctly. When we shop correctly, we buy only what we absolutely need, and we purchase the best quality that we can afford.

That is why shows like “Hoarders” and “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” are so popular. It is because many folks buy too much junk. Then they wonder why their bank accounts are depleted, and their houses are messy.

When we simplify our belongings, we create a calm environment. We only have what we need, and what we have is both beautiful and functional. That means that our closet contains only those clothes that look good on us and that we wear regularly. That means that our kitchens are organized and not full of gadgets and dishes that we never use. When our belongings are simplified, our homes are orderly and peaceful.

So, if you have too much stuff in your house, simplify your life and get rid of it. Give it away. I am sure that there are people who can use your unused clothing, exercise machines and 3^rd set of dishes. Better to live with fewer things in a peaceful environment, than to live in an unsettling mess of excess belongings.

Stop Chasing the Next Best Thing: There are many people who have a “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” mentality. As a result, their lives are unstable and complicated because they are always in pursuit of the next best thing. Whether it be a better spouse, place to live or job, they are always trying to get something better than what they already have.

I will concede that if you are married, yes, there probably is someone out there who is more attractive, pleasant and interesting than your spouse. And you probably could find a nicer place to live and a better job.

However, getting something “better” than what you have now isn’t going to make you happy. To be happy, you can’t spend your life jumping from one thing to the next. A happy life is one that is cultivated from what you already have.

For instance, a great marriage takes years to develop. Great marriages are created over time and are the product of shared experiences. They come after many years during which two imperfect people work hard at the relationship, grow together and try to meet each other’s needs.

The same holds true for where you live. Yes, I am sure that there are places in this world that might have better weather than yours. And they may have better cultural offerings and restaurants. But a place is only as good as the relationships that you have formed there. And again, that takes time! You have to live somewhere for a number of years to become part of the community and to fully experience its charms. Weather and scenery are besides the point. A great place to live is one in which you have friends and feel part of the place.

Jobs are the same way. Yes, there are probably lots of jobs out there that would pay you more money. But a great job is a combination of things. It is a combination of proper compensation, opportunities for advancement, and a decent corporate culture. And it is a product of working with people who aren’t just your colleagues, but who are your friends. So, great jobs don’t happen overnight. Like good marriages and places to live, they are created over time as you become part of your workplace team.

Chasing the next best thing will only make your life more complicated. It won’t make you any happier. Happiness comes from settling down and creating a beautiful life with the people who know you and care about you.

Limit Your Obligations: In life we have a “Have To” list. Things on that list include making money to pay our bills, cleaning our homes, cooking meals for our families and raising children. Then there is the “Choose to Do” list. Those are the things that we choose do for other people. For instance, we may choose to take our kids to extra-curricular activities. It isn’t necessary. Our kids won’t die if they don’t play soccer. But chauffeuring our kids to extra-curricular activities is something that we choose to do.

Our “Choose to Do” List is what gets us in trouble in life. That list should be short, and it should be filled with activities that are important, but that don’t leave us exhausted. For instance, since I work fulltime, I’ve always chosen to take my daughter to only two extra-curricular activities each week. That’s it. I don’t do more than that because I won’t spend all my free time chauffeuring. I could do so, but two more activities won’t appreciably improve her life. And doing any more chauffeuring would send me over the edge. So, I pick and choose what I will and won’t do.

I similarly limit how much I’ll do for my church. Like any volunteer organization, the church will take up as much of your free time as you are willing to give. So, I focus on helping out with two areas where the church is in need of assistance and in which I can use my talents. I otherwise leave the rest of the work to other folks!

Keeping our “Choose to Do” list short allows us to have time for our own pursuits. If we don’t have the time to pursue our own interests, we feel frustrated. And then we don’t give our time to others in a joyful manner. While sometimes it is hard to say “no,” that is the only way to be happy with your life and how you spend your time.

This week, consider whether you would be happier if your life was simpler. If so, consider purging your life of all your unnecessary obligations and belongings. Create a simple life path and see your happiness increase a hundredfold!

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Email: yourmorningcupofinspiration@gmail.com

Books: “The Secrets to Success for the Working Mother” by Meerabelle Dey (https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Success-Working-Mother/dp/1546329544 )