An X Factor is defined as “a noteworthy special talent or quality.” The good news is that each of us has an X Factor. The key to your success is to identify what makes you special or unique and then capitalize on it.

The challenge is that most of us don’t focus on our X Factors. Instead, we spend our lives trying to suppress what makes us noteworthy or different. You see it in children and teenagers. Kids try to become popular by fitting in. Popular kids cut their hair like everyone else, and they wear the same clothes. They don’t do anything that would be deemed weird.

You even see this behavior in adults. For instance, I have a friend who was really interesting as a young person. She studied art. She wore quirky New England style clothes. She had intellectual pursuits. And she was very pretty in a natural way.  In short, she was not your average young lady.

But as time went on, her life changed. She became a successful corporate executive and moved to an exclusive neighborhood. So, her LL Bean attire was swapped out for trendy, high-end ensembles. She colored her hair an expensive blonde and changed her reading material to the latest bestseller. She now truly fits in in her new world.

But my friend has lost her X factor. She is successful in a normal sort of way, but what made her unique is gone. And to me, that is unfortunate.

If you look at the people who are outrageously successful, they all have one thing in common:  They are unique. Look at Oprah. There is no one else like her. Interestingly, she didn’t start her broadcasting career trying to copy anyone else. She simply took her very unique personality and then capitalized on it. And ultimately, what made her different is what made her successful.

If Oprah had tried to fit in and be like every other television personality, she now would probably be a weather reporter for a local TV news station. Instead, she is Oprah, one of our most influential celebrities. That is the power of being your unique self. It can take you places that you never dreamed of going to.

Or consider Jane Goodall. She grew up in an age when a successful woman was one who got married and had children. But she was a different sort of person. She had an inquisitive mind. And she was adventurous. Fortunately, she didn’t suppress those “X Factor” qualities. She instead decided to simply be herself.

For Goodall, being herself meant not living a traditional life as a housewife in England. Instead, for her it meant going to Africa to study chimpanzees. And that lead to her becoming one of the most famous primatologists of all time.

The question then for each of us is this: What is my X Factor? What makes me unique? Interestingly, your X Factor is probably not something that would make you popular. Popularity is about fitting in. It is about being like everyone else. Your X Factor is that one thing about you that makes you different.

So, think about the qualities that you possess that have made you feel separate from the crowd. That is a clue as to what your X Factor is. For instance, I am not the life of the party. In fact, I’ve never attended a party at which I didn’t want to leave one hour into the event. I am a quieter person. I am interested in people, but on a one-to-one level. So, while I may not want to attend your party, I will gladly meet you for a cup of tea.

As a result, I’ve been accused of being boring. Or as one person put it, “Meerabelle hates fun.” My goodness. However, while my quiet nature has been a source of ridicule, interestingly, it is also my X Factor. Because I am quiet and a listener, I also am a student of human nature. And that allows me to have insights into the human condition which I would not otherwise have.

If I was busy trying to be popular and get people to notice me, I wouldn’t have the time to observe others and think about them with compassion. And people wouldn’t share their concerns with me because I wouldn’t be spending my time listening. I would be too busy talking.

My observations of the human condition have given me the insights that I need to be an effective writer. Without my quiet nature – my X Factor – I couldn’t write, which is what I love to do more than anything else.

So, my best advice is this: Don’t squelch your X Factor. The world will want you to destroy the one thing that makes you different. The world will want you to fit in. The world will want you to be just like everyone else. But realize that the one thing that makes you different is the one thing that can propel you to great success.

This week, try to identify your X Factor. What is that unique quality that you possess that is going to propel you to greatness? Don’t worry about fitting in. That is for average people. Instead, identify your X Factor and be the amazing person God intended you to be!

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Email: yourmorningcupofinspiration@gmail.com

Books: “The Secrets to Success for the Working Mother” by Meerabelle Dey (https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Success-Working-Mother/dp/1546329544 )