Last week, the father of one of my daughter’s friends unexpectedly passed away.  He and I were exactly the same age.  I’d met him a handful of times.  He was a corporate executive, and a devoted, highly involved parent.  His sudden death made me think about how fleeting life can be.  So often, we get caught up in the little issues of life.  But the reality is that none of us knows when our last day will be.  As a result, it is worth taking a big picture perspective on life.

The problem is that when we don’t look at the big picture, we spend our time focused on the little things that ultimately don’t matter.  For instance, this gentleman’s obituary did not list where he went to university.  Yet how much time do we spend trying to get into the “right” college?   His high-level position at an international company was a throwaway sentence.  Yet, he probably devoted 50-60 hours a week to his job.

Instead, the most interesting parts of his obituary were the things that were unique about him.  He loved to tell jokes and make people laugh.  Photography was his passion, and he would get up early in the morning or stay up late into the night to get an amazing shot.  He was a devout Catholic.

I personally will remember how he once took our daughters to the Guggenheim Museum on a cold, wintry day – not an activity that most fathers would do.  However, he was an artistic person, and I suspect he enjoyed the museum as much as the girls.

Realize that from a big picture perspective, our jobs really aren’t that important.  Unless your job is a calling, such as being a pastor or a nurse or doctor, your job is simply a way to make money.  The size of our homes and the expense of our cars, likewise, aren’t that important either.  Let’s face it.  No one is going to remember you for the make and model of your car.

What will be memorable about us?  Read a couple of obituaries, and you’ll find out.

Below are ways to adopt a big picture perspective, so that your daily choices reflect your values and add up to a life well-lived.

You Someday Will Be Remembered for the Way You Made People Feel

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

What Maya Angelou is getting at in the above quote is that your public accomplishments ultimately won’t matter as much as how you treated others during your life.  For example, where you went to college and your degrees will not be remembered as much as whether you were kind.  Folks will remember if you encouraged them.  They will consider whether you were generous with your time and your money.

Think back to anyone you know who has passed away.  You probably don’t remember them for their professional accomplishments.  What you may remember are the moments that they were good to you.

For example, my Aunt Margaret was a head pediatric nurse at a hospital in Canada.  But I never knew much about that aspect of her life.  Rather, I remember her fondly because she was always kind to me.  When I was small, she gave me a children’s book of Bible stories that I still have.  It is my most cherished childhood possession.

So, when you look at life through a big picture lens, realize that while your career is important, it likely will not be how people remember you.  You will be remembered for whether or not you were gentle and kind toward others.  Folks will remember you for making them feel confident – or you may be remembered for making people feel badly about themselves.  As Maya Angelou says, you will be remembered for how you made others feel.

Give Your Concerns the Five-Year Test

When we adopt a big picture perspective, we realize that what is an irritation today probably will not matter in the future.  As a result, we should not be devoting our mental energy to the little annoyances that we encounter each day.  They soon will be forgotten.

Instead, we should focus on those issues that will impact us long-term.  For instance, your work ethic today, will affect you in the future.  Throughout my career, I have had a strong work ethic.  As a result, when I’ve looked for jobs, I’ve been blessed with good professional references from the past.  People may not remember specific things that I did at work over the years, but they do remember that I worked hard!

Similarly, when you raise your children, realize what they someday will remember about their childhoods.  They likely won’t remember the little arguments, or the times that you said “no” to their going to a party.  But they will remember when you cheered them on at their sports competitions and attended their school band concerts.  Twenty years from now, they undoubtedly will remember how you celebrated them at their high school graduation.  Those seminal moments matter.

When we look at life through a big picture lens, we realize that the small concerns of today are just that – small.  As a result, we need to focus on the things that will matter five years from now.  Being kind and gentle.  Saying an encouraging word to someone who needs it.  Celebrating our children and preparing them for a great future.  Those are the things that matter today and beyond.

When we adopt a big picture perspective, we start to get our priorities straight.  We realize that the minor irritations of life will soon be forgotten.  Instead, what is memorable and what matters is whether we have been kind, encouraging and generous to others.  Did we treat others with respect and gentleness?  If we live our lives looking at the big picture, suddenly being kind and good to others becomes the obvious choice.

Email: meerabelle@meerabelledey.com

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