So often in life, it isn’t our circumstances that hold us back.  Yes, we may have grown up in a dysfunctional household.  Or we may have been raised in poverty.  But I find that it isn’t our circumstances that typically hold us back in life.  Rather, it is our own life choices that hold us back.

For example, my daughter has a friend who is extremely smart.  In her younger years, her IQ was tested, and it was off the charts.  She was always a top-notch elementary student.  Then she entered high school, and she stopped making school a priority.  Instead, being popular, dating boys and drinking alcohol were her focus.  She had the brains to go to an Ivy League school.  But instead, she is going to local college and is on a very bad track, all due to her own choices.

This young lady is holding herself back in life.  She is choosing to do those things that make her popular with her peers.  But unfortunately, those same choices are blocking her from future success.

My daughter’s friend is not alone.  We all make choices, to greater and lesser degrees, that prevent us from being successful and happy.  The key to life is to make as few of those bad choices as possible!

Below are some ways that you may be holding yourself back in life.  Stop doing these things, and put yourself back on the path to happiness and success.

Listening to the Opinions of Others

Often, we make bad choices in life because we don’t follow our gut and our hearts.  Instead, we listen to others.  The biggest mistakes I’ve made in life have occurred because I chose to take bad advice.

The problem is that most people don’t have your best interests in mind.  Instead, they are interested in your doing what makes their lives easier.  For instance, you could be in a completely miserable marriage, and folks, nevertheless, will encourage you to stay with your spouse.  Why?  It is because they aren’t concerned with your happiness.  People just don’t like divorce.  It is unpleasant for everyone.

So, the best rule of thumb is to take your own advice.  In your heart of hearts, you know what is the right thing to do in any situation.  If you have a modicum of common sense, you know that being kind, working hard and living responsibly are good choices.  And you also know that you should never tolerate being treated poorly by others.

The reality is that we don’t seek the opinions and advice of others because we can’t figure life out.  The right choice typically is obvious. We seek the opinions of others to support our desire to make bad choices.  If you follow the bad advice of others, you are needlessly holding yourself back in life.  Instead, do what you know is right, and do what you need to do to make yourself happy.

Not Following Life’s Basic Rules

Life is only complicated because we make it so.  We all know that we should be kind and gentle toward our spouse and children.  We know that we should work hard, save our money and be financially generous.  Being respectful and considerate of others are no brainers.  Of course, we should eat healthy foods and exercise.  And we should refrain from smoking and abusing alcohol or drugs.  Everyone knows those rules.  And anytime you violate those very basic rules, you are holding yourself back in life.

For example, in every job I’ve had, I’ve seen people get fired.  And it typically has nothing to do with their work performance.  The people who get fired are the ones who are rude and difficult.  They may be smart and capable.  But they can’t seem to follow the basic rule that you have to treat others with kindness and respect.

So many people go through life wondering why they can’t get ahead professionally, or why their relationships with their family members are strained.  It isn’t complicated.  They simply refuse to follow the basic rules of life.  If you don’t work hard, and if you aren’t kind and respectful toward your spouse and children (and other people, generally), your life will be a mess.  Period.

You have to walk the straight and narrow in life.  If you skirt life’s basic rules, you will be holding yourself back for no good reason.

Holding Yourself Back by Procrastinating

We all have goals in life.  Perhaps we want to lose weight and feel healthier.  Maybe we want a new career, or we want to learn a new skill.  None of that comes without hard work.  The challenge is that hard work is not nearly as much fun as watching television while eating a bag of chips!

So, we procrastinate.  We come up with a billion reasons as to why we just don’t have the time or energy to do the hard work.  And by delaying and making excuses, we hold ourselves back from achieving our goals.

The only way to achieve your full potential in life is to take action.  For example, the only reason that I am a writer is because I do the hard work of writing – every single day.  Would it be a lot easier to spend my time reading books and sipping tea?  Of course.  But writers write.

If I wanted to procrastinate, I could easily come up with excuses for why I don’t have time to write each day.  I have a million and one things going on in my life.  In fact, I always have been a busy person.  Not once in my life have I ever said, “I’m bored.”  Frankly, I cannot imagine uttering those words.

In spite of being busy, I choose not to make excuses.  I don’t procrastinate or avoid writing because I my goal is to be a writer.  And as I said, writers write.

So, if you really want something in life, take action.  Don’t hold yourself back with excuses for not acting, and miss out on accomplishing your dreams.  As the Nike ad says, “Just do it.”

Most of the time, we are the ones who hold ourselves back from achieving our full potential in life.  We hold ourselves back with bad choices or inaction.  Don’t fall into those traps!  Make great choices in life and live your best life possible. (To read about creating achievable goals, click here.)

Email: meerabelle@meerabelledey.com

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