They say that the one constant in life is change.  It is true.  Good experiences come to an end, as do bad ones.  So, learning how to move from those endings to new beginnings is a skill that all of us need.

For example, I currently am experiencing the tough ending of being a full-time mom.  My husband and I took my daughter to college last week, and now I am officially an empty nester.  My days of being a 24-7 mom are over.  Admittedly, figuring out how to transition to being a full-time parent to being a parent with an adult, semi-independent child is hard.

However, the key is to view tough endings as not just endings.  Instead, we need to view every ending also as a new beginning.  Problems occur when we get stuck in “ending mode” and don’t transition to that new beginning.

Below are some ways to move from your tough endings to a positive new beginnings.

Accept Feelings of Disappointment and Mourning

Whenever something ends in our lives, we naturally will struggle with feelings of disappointment or mourning.  Perhaps we are disappointed because a job or relationship ended too soon.  If a person or pet has died, we may be mourning their absence.

Those are feelings are all natural.  Don’t suppress them.  Experiencing pain and grief is part of the process when we are transitioning to a new beginning.  For instance, if you get divorced, you probably will feel relief that a bad relationship has ended.  However, you also will feel disappointment that the marriage did not work out as planned.

View feelings of disappointment and mourning as an important part of the process toward a new beginning.

 Accept the Ending Itself

In life, there are situations that we simply have to accept.  The death of a loved one or the end of a marriage are facts of life.  We cannot change them.  For example, my daughter leaving for college is a fact that I have to accept.  Kids grow up.  We can’t fight that.  It is what it is.

We have problems when we rail against the facts of life, instead of accepting them.  When we complain about the unfairness of life, or when we feel bitter about an ending, we are fighting against reality.  And reality always wins.

It is better to accept the reality of the ending.  Try to think of the situation as positively as possible.  And then move on to the next step in your life.

If You Don’t Know What to Do, Do What You Know

When we are facing a difficult ending, whether it be the end of a relationship, a job or other situation, sometimes we can feel paralyzed.  It is hard to know what to do next.  That is OK!  You don’t have to have all the answers right away.

Instead of trying to figure out everything right away, give yourself some time to think.  And while you are figuring out your life, just do what you know.  Follow your typical daily routines.  Cooking, cleaning and doing laundry are all great ways to do something positive while waiting for inspiration.  Organizing your finances is another positive activity.  If you have a job, throw yourself into your work responsibilities.

The key during times of uncertainty or loss is to do what you do well.  That will keep you feeling positive and in control, when certain aspects of your life are no longer within your control.

To Create New Beginnings, Refresh Old Dreams

Whenever something ends, whether it be a relationship, a job, or some other circumstance, it leaves a gap in your life.  Very often, you have some free time on your hands.  Don’t spend that time lamenting what has been lost.  Instead, use that time to resurrect old dreams.

For instance, I studied classical flute and voice as a young person and in college.  However, during my first marriage, life got in the way, and I wasn’t able to pursue my interests in music.  Many years later, when that marriage ended, I was single and had extra time.  So, I resumed my interest in music.  I bought a flute, hired a teacher, and found my love of music again.

So, don’t dwell on your loss.  Instead, shift your focus to how you might use your new found time to pursue former interests.  Create positive new beginnings in your life.  You will be happier, and your life will be richer for it.

Realize That You Are Alive for A Reason

Until the day you die, you are here on this earth for a reason.  So, even if something in your life has ended, know that if you woke up this morning, that means you still have work to do on this earth.  God has a purpose for you, and it is your job to figure out what that is and Do It.

So, realize that an ending does not signify life is over.  Rather, only one aspect of your life is over.  For example, let’s say that your job ended.  That can be difficult and disappointing.  I have a friend who recently lost her job due to her company going out of business.  When she told me, I reassured her that she is still the same person.  She still has talents to share with a new employer and with the world.  She simply needs to find another way to use those talents.  There are new beginnings in store for her!

In your life, perhaps a relationship ended or someone you loved passed away.  Realize that you still have love to offer the world.  Find ways to keep sharing your goodness and kindness with others.

It is hard to face endings in life.  Consider using the above approaches to move from those tough endings to new beginnings.  Keep making the most of life until your very last breath.  (To read more about making a fresh start, click here.)

Email: meerabelle@meerabelledey.com

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