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Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?” “I was a police...
An elderly woman in her nineties had a visitor from her church come to see her at the nursing home. “How are you?” the visitor asked. “Oh,” said the elderly...
Moses: “How are we going to get across the sea? The Egyptians are close behind us!” General of the army: “Normally, I’d recommend that we build our own...
After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small southern town decided he had been doing that long enough. He told his wife that...
A young girl was attending her first wedding, watching the proceedings with interest for a while before growing restless. The groom stood at the altar...
Biblical bumper stickers: Jonah: Save the Whales The Israelites: Honk If You Love Moses Elijah: My Other Chariot Rolls Goliath: Support the Ban on Slingshots...
An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground. Lying...
A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold. They passed mansion after mansion...
A young man couldn’t decide which girl to marry. He liked one girl, but he really liked another one named Maria, too. He decided to ask his friend for...
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding. “But, Officer,” the man protested, “I can explain.” “Be quiet,” ordered the officer....
During an ecumenical assembly, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!” The Methodists prayed in a corner. The Baptists wondered where...
A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket. But the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe. Unfortunately, the...
A new preacher wanted to rent a house in the country but the only one available was rumored to be haunted. That didn’t bother the preacher since he didn’t...
During a fire at a convent, a group of nuns are trapped on the third floor. Thinking quickly, they took off their habits, tied them together and used...
The pastor was greeting folks at the door after the service. A woman said, “Father, that was a good sermon.” The priest replied, “Oh, I have to give the...
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