No-Excuse Sunday

* Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in." * There will be a section with lounge chairs for those who feel our pews are too hard. * We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof will cave in if I ever came to church." * Blankets will be provided for those who think, "The church is too hot." * Fans will be provided for those who think, "The church is too cold." * Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. * One section will have trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. * The sanctuary will be decorated with both poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them. - Joke shared on Beliefnet's Religious Humor page.