The Marriage of Miss Bad Breath and Mr. Smelly Feet

A young couple, madly in love, decided to get married. But as the wedding day neared, both grew increasingly nervous over secret problems they had never shared with anyone. Privately, the groom-to-be approached his minister. “I’m really concerned about this marriage,” the young man said. “Don’t you love her?” the pastor asked in surprise. “Of course,” the groom said. “But I have unbelievably smelly feet—and I’m afraid my fiancée won’t be able to stand them.” “Oh, is that all?” the pastor replied. “Look, all you need to do is wash your feet twice a day and wear socks all the time.” The groom thought it over and decided it just might work. Meanwhile, the nervous bride had privately approached the minister’s wife. “I’m so worried,” she sobbed. “I have really bad breath when I wake up each day!” “Oh, dear,” the pastor’s wife replied,” everyone has bad breath in the morning. Don’t worry about it.” “No, you don’t understand,” the bride implored. “My morning breath is so awful, my fiancé won’t even want to be near me!” “Well, I have an idea,” the pastor’s wife said soothingly. “Set your alarm just a few minutes before your husband wakes up. Run to the bathroom, brush your teeth, and gargle with mouthwash before he gets out of bed. The key is not to say anything until you’ve taken care of your breath.” The bride thought it over and decided it just might work. In time, a beautiful wedding was held and the bride and groom enjoyed the day without once worrying about their secret problems. For several months they managed to keep their issues to themselves. They one morning, the husband awoke before dawn to find that one of his socks had come off in the night. Frantic, he searched the bed, afraid of what might happen if he didn’t find his sock soon. His bride woke with a start, and, without thinking, blurted out, “What in the world are you doing?” “Oh, dear!” the young man wailed. “You swallowed my sock!” From "The Book of Church Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009. Used by permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc.