Breads for Crummy Sins

On the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, there is a ceremony called Tashlich. Jews traditionally go to the ocean or a stream or river to pray and throw bread crumbs into the water. Symbolically, the fish devour their sins. Occasionally, people ask what kind of bread crumbs should be thrown. Here are suggestions for breads which may be most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviors. For ordinary sins.....................White Bread For complex sins......................Multigrain For twisted sins......................Pretzels For sins of indecision................Waffles For sins of chutzpah..................Fresh Bread For committing auto theft.............Caraway For timidity/cowardice................Milk Toast For ill-temperedness..................Sourdough For silliness, eccentricity...........Nut Bread For war-mongering.....................Kaiser Rolls For jingoism, chauvinism..............Yankee Doodles For excessive irony...................Rye Bread For erotic sins.......................French Bread For particularly dark sins............Pumpernickel For dressing immodestly...............Tarts For causing injury to others..........Tortes For being holier than thou............Bagels For abrasiveness......................Grits For dropping in without notice........Popovers For overeating........................Stuffing For pride and egotism.................Puff Pastry For trashing the environment..........Dumplings For telling bad jokes/puns............Corn Bread