People are rarely at their best while they’re flying. Just look at the number of in-flight fights and other troubling incidents these days. One part of playing that typically strikes a nerve with many travelers is seat reclining. Last year, there was a video of a screaming match between passengers where one woman’s choice to recline her seat went viral. Months later, there was another viral clip of a passenger who used her arms to keep the seat in front of her in place on a flight from Paris to Los Angeles.
Every time these occurrences make headlines, there’s a revived discussion around a divisive travel question: is it okay to recline, or is it rude? Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman said it’s a volatile subject, and there are people on both sides of the debate. Still, from an etiquette standpoint, is there a right answer to the question of whether or not to recline? Here are some best practices.
Is it okay to recline?
President of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting Jodi R.R. Smith says that reclining your seat is a matter of polite awareness, meaning you want to be able to maximize your comfort without inconveniencing anyone else, which is quite a challenge in the shrinking seats found nowadays on airplanes. Some argue that if they bought a ticket for an airplane seat that reclines, then they have the right to take advantage of that function. However, etiquette coach Tami Claytor says this mentality emphasizes an essential etiquette rule that just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should do it.
Claytor said that etiquette isn’t merely about which fork to use. At its foundational level, etiquette is thinking about others. As such, interfering with someone else’s comfort and reclining your seat violates the basic idea of etiquette. However, there are situations where reclining can be appropriate and more aligned with etiquette standards. The most essential thing is to consider the individual circumstances of your flight, your fellow passengers, and yourself. Gottsman said for a short flight, it would be polite to keep your seat up unless you’re certain you’re not inconveniencing someone behind you. So, if the seat behind you is empty, then reclining is fine. If there’s a small child, you can likely recline without encroaching into their space much, and the same goes for premium cabins.
Smith added that for those fortunate enough to be seated in business or first class, this isn’t an issue, as there’s ample room to recline without impacting any other passenger’s personal space. In any other case, it’s best to try to stay upright during short-haul flights as this makes things much easier for passengers who are tall or want to use their laptops or drink a soda on the tray table during the flight. Smith said if you’re reclining could negatively affect the person behind you, like someone with their knee in a brace, you shouldn’t recline. Reclining can also be acceptable for particularly tall passengers, those who need space for their little ones or struggle with back issues. If the passenger is so tall that they have to fold themselves origami-style into the seat, a few extra inches can make a big difference, and they can recline after take-off.
If the passenger is juggling a small child on their lap, they can recline as well. If you don’t need the space, like a 5-year-old in a seat, there’s no need to recline. However, the rules are different for long-haul flights, where reclining is more appropriate. Gottsman noted that if it’s a long flight, it’s unreasonable to expect every passenger not to do what they can to be comfortable. If it’s a red-eye, sleep is essential, and reclining is acceptable, especially since everyone else is reclining too.
Is there a right way to recline?
If you feel so inclined, there are best practices for executing your reclining. For example, look behind you to see if someone is sitting in the seat directly behind you. You could also check for any issues like soda on the tray, computer, long legs, or a baby in their lap and let the person know that you’d like to recline. Suppose you’re adamant about reclining, and there’s no physical reason why you shouldn’t. In that case, it’s within reason, but only if it’s not going to harm or impede another person physically. Be friendly and either share that you plan to recline your seat or ask if you can recline your seat.
If the person behind you isn’t feeling quite so kindly and takes an exception with your request, try negotiating a reasonable compromise, like slightly reclining your seat or only reclining for a specific time. You never know; a polite discussion can lead to a new friendship. You could also take breaks from reclining or move your seat back upright when the crew passes out drinks and food or the person behind you pulls out their laptop. To show respect and consideration for your fellow traveler, you could also consider easing into the lean and going for a partial recline if possible. Gottsman advised that you start slow to see how you can feel comfortable without potentially going all the way back. Another essential factor in the reclining discussion is the timing of when you do it.
One etiquette expert said that it’s certainly not proper etiquette to recline your seat as soon as you sit while other passengers are boarding and settling into their seats. Reclining your seat during the boarding process is inconsiderate because the back of the seat will block the path, causing the passenger to try to sit down in the seat behind the reclined seat and have a challenge sitting. The main thing to keep in mind is that you’re in a small communal space, not your living room recliner, and you and your fellow passengers are all in this together. These days, airplanes are tight, so some consideration can go a long way in making everyone more comfortable.
Before you board a plane, with all the indignities and annoyance, remind yourself that you’ll be in a chair, in the sky, and how much faster it’ll be than other transportation modes. A bit of perspective can change your attitude toward the positive.
