Many people have questions like 'What is a soulmate?' , 'Is there only one soulmate for every person?' or even 'Am I  married to the wrong person?' The answer is that everybody can find their soulmate and everybody can also transform their existing relationship into a soulmate relationship if their partner wants to come along. So, how do we know when we have found our soulmate?

Soulmates want to grow

The most important quality of people in soulmate relationships is that they want to grow into more loving and wise beings. While both partners may be very much in love with each other they also see the need to evolve and grow into fuller human beings. In ordinary relationships people usually have the sole aim of supporting and confirming each other's current personality but soulmates have a different perspective. They are not satisfied with how they are at the moment but would like to evolve into humans who realize their whole potential. Some may call this enlightenment and others union with God.

Soulmates want to learn from each other

In every relationship there are disagreements and conflicts. Soulmates have decided to use these conflicts to grow in love and wisdom. Instead of shoving these problems under the carpet or arguing about them, soulmates will sit down and analyse all aspects of their conflict until they have found the most loving and wise solution. Doing this requires much humility from the partner who has inadvertently acted in a selfish way. And it requires much patience and skill from the partner who can see the situation from a higher perspective to bring their point of view across.

Soulmates never stop wanting to develop

It is human nature that we all want to lean back at times and not work on ourselves anymore. But close relationships are full of challenges that require our ongoing attention. Soulmates are committed to do this work and never simply put up with disharmony. Instead of insisting that they 'are who they are', they are willing to see their partner as a teacher from whom they learn  or to be the teacher themselves who never gives up on helping their partner to evolve. Who is in the teacher and student positions can often change and be different in different areas of life. The common thread is that soulmates want to learn from each other.

So, this is the most important quality that makes you and your partner into true soulmates: A determination to grow in love and wisdom and to use all experiences in your relationship as lessons on your path to grow into the best persons you can be.

Tara Springett is the author of Soulmate Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Understand Your Perfect Partner. She holds an M.A. in Education and has post-graduate qualifications in gestalt therapy, body awareness therapy and transpersonal therapy. She is a fully qualified and licensed psychotherapist and counselor. Tara has worked as a drugs counselor, counselor for adolescents and general psychotherapist since 1988. Tara has been a dedicated Buddhist practitioner since 1986. In 1997 she received encouragement from her Buddhist teachers to teach meditation.  Tara is the author of several self-help books. She has been featured in numerous publications and has appeared on various radio and television shows in Europe and the United States. Her website is: www.taraspringett.com.