7 Ways to Love Your Neighbor

Christianity isn’t an easy path. Although the Word of God never changes, the world around us continues to do just that, constantly shifting in its moral and cultural norms. At times, the friction of a moving object against an immovable one causes heat, and sometimes that heat gives rise to flame in the form of anger. Dislike, rage, and even malice toward a world that refuses to embrace Christian values is normal and human, but to hold on to those feelings, and, especially to act on them, violates the very edicts of God.

Christ is the healing water poured over the fires of conflict, and remains the best example Christians have of how to deal with those not of the same faith. Rick Rusaw and Brian Mavis’s book, “The Neighboring Church,” teaches readers how to apply the Gospels to the concept of sincerely loving our neighbors—whoever they might be—and cultivating organic relationships with them. Let’s take a look at some of the book’s examples, and go over 7 ways to truly love your neighbor.

Be Organic

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Organic food is all the rage right now, and for good reason. For years, consumers have been exposed to pesticides, antibiotics, and genetically modified foods, and as they became more aware of this, cries for chemical-free food arose, and the organic food industry boomed as a result. People love things that are natural.

The same is true with church outreach programs. Just as farmers are now removing any number of unnatural contaminants from their fields and livestock, so should the Christian Church strive to be rid of overly complicated and contrived community outreach methods, as well as shortcuts meant to merely add "numbers".

Loving your neighbor doesn’t involve unsolicited lessons in doctrine or admonishments for not attending church. It involves building real relationships. It involves being a good example that draws people to want to know more. Jesus didn’t go about stressing doctrine and disregarding human being, but went about helping people, healing the sick and acknowledging the forgotten, even doing kindnesses to his enemies. Christ loved people organically, coming to them on their own terms, in their own messes. Be real. Think of people as people, not numbers for the church roster. It will make loving them all the easier.

Read on to find out how to do this.

Be Generous

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One of the key questions in “The Neighboring Church” is “If you left your neighborhood, would anybody care?” The answer may just reveal if you are truly loving your neighbor. One of the signs of love is generosity, which Christ teaches about both in word and in action. On the nature of giving, Christ, in Matthew 5:23-24, says not only to “Give to him who asks you,” but also, a chapter later, to “When you give to the poor, don’t’ be like hypocrites. They blow trumpets…so that people will see them and honor them.” In other words, God calls Christians to give, and to not make a big deal about it.

So why is it important to do this? Because bringing yourself to the point where you’re willing to give without compensation—including social compensation—shows sincere love. And that love will not go unnoticed—when you give to your community and help others out, it shows the character of God, and reflects well on His church.

Be Understanding

When all the world seems to be set against you, it can be tempting to cocoon yourself away, but we can’t show love to those we do not know. Simply staying put and putting out a general “good vibe” toward humanity isn’t quite what Jesus had in mind. The authors go on, writing that “If we just read Jesus’ command as a general ‘love everybody,’ statement, it’s likely we won’t love anybody well…aim at knowing your literal neighbors.”

Do you know the names of those around you? Getting to know them and being interested in them are two stones that pave the path to loving them.

Jesus got out there and spoke with people—with sinners, and even with those who openly disagreed with Him. Do the same in your own life, with not only your literal neighbors, but with all of the people you regularly come into contact with. Get to know them. Ask questions. Find out what their unmet needs are, and help fill them. Do this, and you’ll be another step closer to loving them.

Be Open

That same cocooning process we use to keep people out tends to keep us from opening up, ourselves. It’s very human to tend toward self-centeredness and privacy, but being willing to love means being willing to make ourselves vulnerable.

How do you do this? It’s simple. Invite your neighbors into your life. Humanize yourself. If you can do that, you’re no longer just the “Christian next door”. You’ll become you, in all of your complexity and humanity.

To do this, though, you’ll have to love yourself first. When you realize your own great worth as a lovingly created human being in the eyes of God, when you begin to value yourself, it’s all the easier to open up to others. Such a feat is nearly impossible when you see yourself in a negative light.

Learn to love yourself, and when the time comes, you’ll be able to open up to the people in your life, and the two-way exchange that results in neighborly love can begin.

Pray for Them

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Prayer isn't only good for the recipients of our prayers. It shapes us, as well, focusing us on what's important, and keeping our gaze on God. Don't forget to pray for yourself, as well, that you might have a greater capacity for love and understanding

And when you pray for your neighbor? Ask God for specific things for them, based on what you know of them (you did get to know them, right?).

But don’t stop there. Be willing to be the agent of God’s will when you pray. Sometimes, God will answer your prayers, and that answer will be in the form of your own two hands. Love your neighbor by responding to the will of God, and going to their aid.

And remember—most people want to be prayed for. If they find that you’re a Christian, and you’ve been a good and kind neighbor to them, they may even ask for it. So be specific in your prayers, love your neighbors by interceding for them, and be willing to be the answer to your own prayers. Doing so shows love.

Love Your Enemies

This is a tough one. Learning how to deal with enemies isn’t just a Christian problem—it’s a human one. We all have our individual conflicts, as well as those organizations which oppose our values. Typically, people tend to distance themselves, but that isn’t always feasible. What do you do when your neighbor and your enemy are one and the same, when there is intense enmity between yourself a regularly occurring guest star in your life?

Again, take a cue from Jesus, who healed the ear of the man who came to arrest Him in preparation for His execution. You can’t generate much more enmity than that. Pastor Ramin Razavi, who shares a profound statement on the matter, saying, “I’m pretty sure the differences I have with my neighbor are no bigger than the gap between the holiness of God and me”.

Christ extended grace to all walks of sinners, as well as to those who meant Him harm. Extending kindness and grace, even in the face of hostility, exposes the injustice of your enemies’ actions, and may just make them re-think their positions. Love can change even the hearts of your enemies.

Love Through Christ

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Finally, take a look at how Christ shared God’s word. Do you remember how we talked about being organic? Good, because that’s going to be central to the idea of loving your neighbor through the sharing of God’s word.

Sharing the reality of God is one of the most loving acts you can make, but is only possible after a good relationship has been established. After all, few people will listen to the message of a stranger. But a friend? They’ll open up to that.

Jesus used natural conversation to speak about the divine. Everyday subjects can be used to illustrate spiritual ideas, much in the same way that Jesus used the Parables. Don’t be afraid of telling your own story, of your hardships, and of how God has made a difference in your life. Show yourself to be a "satisfied customer" of Christianity. If you’ve taken the effort to show that difference by exhibiting the character of God, this story will have great impact. Showing a great attitude and a loving heart is one of the most effective ways of getting people to open up to the Gospel.

Remember—you’re not out there to win. You’re out there to love.