After obediently attending church with the family all her life, your 11-year-old suddenly announces that she hates church and wants to stay home so she can play Roblox on her iPad. What should a parent do? Allow a fifth grader to make that sort of decision for herself? What if it’s your 15-year-old son? Or a 23-year-old who has graduated from college but can’t find a career and has moved back home? Force is a robust word, isn’t it? When we think of force in the biblical sense, we think of Samson, who stood behind two pillars and pushed down a building by himself.
However, in the parenting sense, parents would rather build their kids up than tear them down, which is why they’d refer to forcing their kids to do something as lovingly requiring them to do what’s best for them, which includes going to church. Consider this perspective: parents make their kids go to school to learn and expand their knowledge and brush their teeth so they won’t get cavities. They also require them to be respectful so they’ll grow to be respectable members of society. So, why wouldn’t they require their kids to go to church? No matter how old your kids are, they should go to church with the family, and here are some reasons why.
God’s Word won’t return void in your kids’ lives.
If we believe that God’s word is living and active, as detailed in Hebrews 4:12, why wouldn’t you want to give your kids a chance to hear it as much as possible? This reason is the prime reason why parents should require their kids to go to church. If your ultimate desire is that your kids will receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior in their lives, but you allow them to miss chances to hear the Gospel, you might actually be stopping them from receiving Christ. Yes, your kids can receive Jesus outside of church at home, camp, or a friend’s house, but it can also happen during a church service.
In Isaiah 55:11, we’re reminded that God’s word goes forth from His mouth and shall not return void, but it will accomplish what He pleases. God’s Word will accomplish what He sets out for it to accomplish, and exposing your children to this life-giving Word is the best thing you can do for them, so take your kids to church and let God’s Word speak to them. Still, if you’re worried that your child will only associate the Bible with church attendance, let them know that the Bible stands alone and they can enjoy it through podcasts, personal devotions, and Bible apps.
You want your kids to stay in church.
According to a LifeWay research article, as teens reach their late teens, even those who attended church regularly are pulled away as they get a job, a driver’s license, and increased independence. The question is, why contribute to the falling away by letting your teens skip out? Yes, they’ll eventually have to choose for themselves whether or not they’ll continue to go, but parents must maintain churchgoing as a standard, not an option. When your teens start job hunting, encourage them to be honest with their employer and say that they would need Sundays off. Even though there’s a risk that they won’t get the job, your teens should be able to attend church with the family.
However, there’s no guarantee that making your children go to church will keep them in church. If your teen works on Sundays, it’s not a deal breaker. Think of finding other ways to worship, including Christian concerts, home Bible studies, and mid-week services. Include your children in deciding how and when to worship.
It’s good for your kids to worship with other believers.
Even if your children struggle with unbelief, being around other Christian families can be the example they need. You never know who will make a difference in their life or plant seeds of faith. It could be a youth leader, a friend, or a pastor who says something that “sticks.” No matter what, it’s healthy for your kids to be around other believers and see the Christian faith being lived out. Just like we need the fellowship of other believers, your kids need it, too, so encourage active participation in events, services, and community outreaches. Meeting together in the name of Jesus is a critical part of a healthy church and healthy kids.
Still, keep in mind that the earliest churches were simply groups of fellow Christians meeting together for fellowship, a meal, and teaching the Bible. Your kids might benefit from more of these kinds of “church” meetings, so it doesn’t always have to be that you go to a church building. It may be best to schedule a once-a-month gathering in your house and get your children involved in the planning, which may end up being the best church experience they’ll have.
Church provides your kids with connectedness.
When your kids question the importance of going to church, you can tell them that a church provides a bigger family, a group of people who care for you and to care about. In essence, church gives a sense of connectedness that other groups can’t. After-school clubs and sports teams are fun and educational, but they don’t give the deeper heart connections that the church gives. Not only do you want your kids to connect with God’s family, but you want them to connect with Jesus Himself, so encourage your kids to connect by requiring them to go to church. Going to church won’t save your kids, but it prioritizes the worship of God. It provides chances to hear the Bible and instills in them a love for the body of believers.
Ultimately, whether or not you lovingly require your children to attend church, you can build them up in the faith by being a good example, sharing the Bible, and providing Christian fellowship. Worship can happen in many ways, not only with the walls of a church building, so we can connect with God every day, not only on Sunday, which is something wonderful that you can teach your kids.
