6 Things Parents Can Do to Make Christmas Merrier

The old Christmas song tells us, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”. Experience tells us, however, that the holidays are sometimes harrowing days. To get ready for the holidays, we have a lot of work to do.

First, we need to get all caught up at work so that we can take some time off. This means we need to do twice as much work as we normally do, and, for many jobs, year-end deadlines are deadly. Second, we need to get all caught up at home so that the house is cleaned, decorations are hung, presents are bought, and plans are executed. If people are coming over, then we need to get the house ready for guests. If those guests are staying with us, we might end up running a temporary bed and breakfast, as well. Third, if we have children, we need to keep them sane while they fill up on weeks of cookies and cocoa that will fuel them with lots of energy and enthusiasm and little sleep. By the time the big day arrives, our children can look and act a lot like drunken pirates intent on mayhem.

By the time Christmas comes around, we are often out of energy, money, and sanity. Add to all of this the pressure to see in-laws who act like outlaws when everyone gets together. The biggest holiday of the year can turn from a nice memory to a nuclear meltdown before you can even finish your first glass of eggnog.

How about you? Do you have any miserable holiday memories?

My wife Grace and I have learned some things about holidays as a family through trial and error. We have been married for more than twenty-five years and have five children. We want to share with you six things parents can do to make Christmas merrier.

Meet as a Family and Brainstorm Various Things Each Member Wants to Do

As a dad, I am a big on making memories and taking photos. I find great joy in making plans for my family, having fun, and being together. When our five children were little, we started some traditions that they enjoyed. As the kids got older, they no longer enjoyed the same things as they did when they were little. At first—if I’m honest—I was a little hurt when such things as driving around in the car to look at Christmas lights while drinking hot chocolate listening to Christmas music was about as popular for some of the kids as taking them to the dentist.

The truth is that each child is different, and each child changes every year. So, we need to meet together as a family to discuss what each person is hoping for during the holidays. In a large family like ours, this means we will do some things all together, Grace will do some things with the girls that they want to do, and I will do some things with the boys that they want to do. By giving each person in the family a voice, everyone hopefully feels valued, included, and excited. Also, each person will have some things that they are less excited for but need to do out of love for other family members as a way of serving them. This exercise also trains the children on how complicated the parental job of juggling all the demands of life can be so that they are more understanding and appreciative.

Put Together a Reasonable Holiday Pencil Plan

Early in our marriage, Grace and I failed at this big time. We both were working long hours and just assumed that the other person would take care of Christmas plans. On Christmas Eve, we both got home from long days at work. If a trial were held, there is no way we could have been convicted of celebrating Christmas, because there was no evidence of any kind in our home. We had no decorations, no tree, no red or green colors, no lights–nothing. Nearby restaurants were closed and we had not gotten groceries, so we found some pancake mix and ate pancakes for dinner—even though I am not a big fan of pancakes.

Since that ho-ho-horrible Christmas experience, we have learned to put together a holiday plan in advance. We research various holiday activities online, meet as a family to discuss options, and sketch out together how we hope the season unfolds. There are always, however, surprises along the way, so the plan is always in pencil. We also try to leave a lot of chill and downtime so that the holidays do not feel like an exhausting series of tasks to be completed.

Get the Family Holiday Plan on the Calendar

The holidays are often the busiest time of the year. In addition to a lot of work deadlines, there are also year-end work parties. There are concerts and activities at the kids’ school. There are events at the church. There are neighborhood events to attend. There are friends who want to do something special together as a present. There is holiday travel so that family and friends can get together. There are family traditions and memories that we do not want to miss, as well.

All of these sorts of things need to be put on a calendar; otherwise, the parents start to feel like air traffic controllers at the airport working hard to keep everything in the air instead of crashing into a fireball. Some years ago, Grace and I decided to share one joint online calendar. This allows us to both see exactly what is happening and coordinate the busy lives of our family of seven. With older children, it is helpful for them to also see the holiday schedule so that they know what is coming and plan accordingly. Such organizing allows each family member to have things to look forward and to be appreciative of all the work the parents are putting in.

Get the Family Holiday Plan in the Budget

January is often a stressful time for people. Why? Because, that is when all the credit card bills from Christmas show up and we get the actual tally of how much all the gold, frankincense, and myrrh cost us. During the holidays, we want to be generous to the people we care about. In addition, there are always some people who unexpectedly give us gifts that we want to reciprocate but had not planned on.

The financial pressures of the holidays can cause a lot of stress. Some couples end up fighting over money every year as an unfortunate holiday tradition.

It can be helpful to make a holiday budget and consider how to make the most of the money. If we calculate our projected expenses—along with what we actually spent— as the years roll on, we will have a lot clearer picture of the costs for a merry Christmas.

Make Some Sacred Holiday Traditions

It is good for the soul to have some annual traditions that are life-giving and memory-making. These moments are anchors for the soul to cling to and provide some rhythm to the years of life.

In our family, we gather each year on Christmas Eve to have an interactive Bible study about the birth story of Jesus – usually from the opening pages of Luke or Matthew. We each take time to share “thankful prayers”–things we are most grateful for in that year. We also share prayers for things we are hopeful for in the coming year. And, we spend some time together in prayer to get our hearts united for the day and year ahead.

Each year during the Christmas season, Grace takes the girls out to a Christmas tea. The guys and I go do whatever they think sounds fun, such as heading to the mountains to play in the snow or catching a sporting event. I schedule a daddy date with each of our girls doing whatever they want to do and eating wherever they want to eat. Christmas dinner is also sacred feast that we all look forward to eating together as a family at home together.

What were some of your favorite holiday memories growing up? What traditions did your family keep? What holiday traditions do you want to have with your children?

Take a Lot of Photos and Videos

Shutterstock.com

For years, our kids have made fun of me because I always buy whatever phone has the largest storage capacity. They make even more fun of me when I completely fill it up with photos and videos.

Life moves fast, the kids grow up quick, and I see myself as the keeper of the memories. I interview the kids on the first and last day of school, on their birthdays, and at any other moment I think might be worthwhile. Now that the kids are older, they really enjoy going back through old footage that records their growing up.

We are really blessed to live in a time when we can grab more photos and videos of our family times together than any time in human history thanks to our phones. We can then share these priceless treasures with the other family members, make compilation videos, and even print out memory books as Christmas presents with fun family photos, as our oldest daughter has done in years past.

Gifts wear out, but memories last a lifetime. As the gifts are opened, we need to capture the memories.