8 Facts to Remember When Life is Unbearable l When Life Becomes Too Hard to Handle

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A friend stepped over the smoldering debris of where her house once stood. Tripping over melted photo frames, broken pieces of furniture, the sound of broken glass being crushed beneath her feet added to the misery. The house fire took all of her material possessions and left her homeless. News broke that 50 people were killed in a shooting at a country music concert with Jason Aldean in Las Vegas and has devastated an entire nation. Whether the stories are personal or when we hear of tragedy happening to strangers--we can't find the words. It is customary for us to experience several stages of adjustment including nervousness, depression and hopelessness after encountering traumatic events. It can significantly disrupt life for years to come in some situations. No matter what it is, life can certainly send you into a dismal place. People react in different ways to a disaster and those feelings are part of the process. Some people go to antidepressants, food, therapy or numb the pain with drugs. The reality is when there is darkness in your world, it's hard to find a crevice of sunlight. Consider these 8 facts to remember when life becomes unbearable.

You Can Let the Pain Go

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The apostle Paul talks about anxiety in Philippians 4:6-7. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." When all things are shaking beneath your feet, you need to know that God is stable in a precarious world. Sometimes it helps to find stories in the Bible that we can identify with to know that we're not alone. God will consistently move on the behalf of believers when things are good and when things are terrifying. The rising and crashing of the waves of life is not a novelty. Paul knew this and discerned that he needed to constantly run to God when he faced prison, persecution and being physically assaulted.

Life is a Gift

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It’s okay to have days when you don't want to get up for work or don't want to see anyone. In fact, you could be in agony right now and find it laborious to even read. You may have a battle on your hands, but the human spirit is stronger than you can ever imagine, it truly is. Get up every day and take one step at a time. The friend we mentioned lost all of her material possessions and would have lost her life if she was home. A late business assignment kept her away when the electrical fire ignited. Every day is a gift and we don't know when it will be time to leave the earth. For those who lost people in tragic events, no words can be offered to ease the pain. Just know that every day is precious and God will be your shelter during this grisly storm. Psalm 46:1 reminds us, “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”

You Need Hope

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Famous poet Lain S. Thomas reminded us to not let the pain of a situation make you hopeless. "Do not let negativity wear off on you. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Even though others may disagree with you, take pride in the fact that you still know the world to be a beautiful place.” When we lose our hope, we lose our will to persevere and to move on in life. Remember all of us will suffer one way or another, you can't outrun life. What keeps those from falling into the pit is keeping their hope alive for a better day, year and life. The best survivors don't spend time being upset about what was lost or when things started going bad, but they do cling to hope because that's all we have as humans. Are you supposed to brush off the pain? No, but you don't have to become a prisoner.

You Need Acceptance

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Life will go on with you or without you. It's harsh, but this is true no matter how much we want it to bend to our will. You can surrender to the devastation and avoid the trials, or accept that life has ups and downs. This doesn't mean you have to approve of it or understand it. Like the situation in Las Vegas, the merciless assassination of people is unacceptable, but we can't go back in time, so we properly grieve. Over time when we don't work through our pain, we can become resentful and indignant towards God, ourselves and others. Then it could manifest into depression. If you're having difficulty with managing anger, think of an alternative approach to the situation to help you manage it better. This can be seeing a therapist or logging your thoughts on paper when you need it.

Self-Care is Key

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You need to be gentle with yourself and do something that makes you happy. Take a day off, get a massage, go for a hike, spend time with animals that you love or do something to get the mind off of your sadness. When we keep focusing on the same thing, it makes us more pessimistic. Change your surroundings to get out of your own head. You don’t want to be stuck in negative thoughts and feelings for too long. Also, you need to take care of the body as well. By not sleeping or eating healthy, you will impact your health negatively which will exacerbate discomfort levels. Give yourself permission to accept yourself and allow a season of your life to be dedicated to self-care and self-management.

The Mind Will Become Dark

Replace the distortions such as “I’m not good enough” or “I will never be happy” with the truth of Scripture. Any time you notice negative thoughts creeping into your brain, review God’s truth and replace the lies with the Word of God. Psalm 126:2-3 said then our mouths will be filled with laughter and "Our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations the Lord has done great things for them.” Force yourself to smile as this will trick the brain and dispel those yucky thoughts. Psychological Science found that smiling can result in a lower heart rate during stress and it releases serotonin that fights infections and boosts the immune system. These chemicals act like a natural anti-depressant. When you smile, you are using the muscles in your face and these actions dupe the brain into releasing feel-good chemicals. Know that the mind will stray into shadowy regions, but when you're conscious of it, you will be sufficiently prepared by filtering dark thoughts using Scripture or by smiling.

Thankfulness is an Asset

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Clinical psychologist and author, Kay Redfield Jamison, wrote, “Grief is so human and it hits everyone at one point or another, at least, in their lives. If you love, you will grieve, and that's just given.” You have a right to be unsettled, distracted and distressed. But for a moment, just shift your gaze to thankfulness. If you experienced losing someone close to you, think of the time that you did have with them and how you can carry out their legacy. Be happy you have a good spouse or friend considering numerous people never experience this. In your daily life, be thankful you can see, hear, walk and can live another day. Write out everything in your life you can think of that you’re grateful for. People who do this over a period of time are happier. Plus, it gets your mind off of the wrong things.

This Will Pass

There will be a better tomorrow, even though you're probably rolling your eyes at this idealism. The season will not continue if you don't allow it to because there will come a time when you have to let it go. If we don't, we can become isolated in our pain and this can impact our lives and our future personal relationships. Guy Winch’s book, Emotional First Aid, suggested that “Loss and trauma can shatter the pieces of our lives, ravage our relationships, and subvert our very identities.” No matter how distressed it feels right now, this moment in time will pass. Healing can only happen if you allow it. Think back to times in your own life when you’ve overcome challenges and became stronger. Just like then, your present difficulties will fade. Take some time now to think about or write down how you mastered conflict or pain before.