17 Ways to Empower Yourself

No one is born feeling self-empowered. Confidence is learned. EVERYONE has fears and insecurities. But, some create a confident façade. Attractive people at the top of their game share fears and self-loathing at my workshops or during counseling. Nobody feels perfect but some of us magnify our flaws more than others. You CAN empower yourself, step by step, with patience and determination. It can take a while but you can start today to inch your way to becoming self-empowered and break any People Pleasing Habits you might have!

Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.

Build Self-Appreciation

Build self-appreciation. Self-esteem that’s based on external achievements doesn’t last! Take a personal inventory of your good qualities. Often what you hate blinds you to your great attributes. Become aware of yours by looking for them (ask loved ones for suggestions) and writing them down just to impress yourself. Read it often and let them sink into your consciousness to help you value yourself more. Like any skill, self-appreciation needs regular practice. Read my FREE book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, for more suggestions as you begin to own your good qualities with pride, it will reflect in your attitude. “I appreciate the wonderful person that I am.”

Control How You Speak

Control how you speak. When anxious, you may talk faster. Consciously slowing down and enunciating words offers more control and allows leeway for speeding up if emotions kick in. Managing your pace and enunciating words controls emotions, which helps you feel more confident and sound more serious! Your voice may go higher when you’re frustrated or nervous.

Emotions lower credibility if they make you sound squeaky. A quick fix? Begin speaking with your voice lower than usual to allow leeway for when emotions make it rise. Bringing the pitch down sounds more serious. If you speak slower, in a lower pitch and enunciate your words, people will give your words more credibility. It translates into real confidence as you get better responses. “I speak up for myself well.”

Learn More

Learn more. Do you feel inadequate because there are things you want to do but can’t? Do you want a better job or to fix something on your own? Learn skills! Adult Ed classes and books teach how to do a gazillion things. Learn to do simple plumbing, maintain a website, create a newsletter, etc. You’ll feel more competent. Do computer classes go too fast or confuse you? Are you scared to take auto mechanics? Find an expert for private instructions. Hire a computer whiz college kid for a few bucks to show you. Find the right person to tutor you instead of feeling dumb about not understanding how to do it. Being able to do something you couldn’t makes you feel more empowered. “I can learn to do anything I choose.”

No

Learn comfortable ways to say “no.” Saying “no” to what you don’t want to do says “yes” to you, which is very empowering. If you find it hard to turn people down, ask yourself what scares you and what’s the worst that can happen. People who matter to you, and care about you will understand. If it’s too uncomfortable at first, don’t say “no.” Say that you have another commitment.

Eventually just say, “I can’t do it.” Most people will accept that if YOU do. Or say you have to check your calendar and will get back to them. then email that it doesn’t work. You can learn to Say “Yes” Slowly, or turn people down if you don’t rush to answer. You CAN Say “NO!“ “I deserve to be able to turn people down and can do it.”