How to Cope Through Heartbreak

Go Deep and Look Closer

First, losses and heartbreak can be cumulative. Every unresolved grief you experience throughout your life may be accumulating over time. While we may believe we can leapfrog over our losses, they can still take a toll on us.

Like barnacles, we become more and more encrusted with distrust, hurt and self-protection every time our heart is broken. We may think we’re getting closer to freedom from pain when we withhold ourselves from love, but we’re really just protecting ourselves from ever being truly vulnerable. We find more ingenious ways of keeping others out of our inner life and share only small parts of ourselves.

Take a good, hard look at your life and think about all of the losses that deeply hurt you. You can’t begin to heal until you know what’s broken.

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Practice New Ways of Relating

This will take courage, humility and risk. You will need to heal from earlier losses, identify self-destructive patterns, and make healthier choices. This will likely mean that you will be without a significant relationship as you learn about yourself. This will involve counseling and listening to others who have made similar mistakes. This can be terribly frightening, but tremendously healing.

You must believe that you are worthy of a having healthy, loving relationship. You must believe that you are capable of attracting a loving, caring person and can sustain a healthy relationship. Can you believe you are worth it? Can you take the chance to love again? We think you can.