Christa Black gives a new meaning to the word survivor. Addiction, abuse, eating disorders and self-esteem issues consumed Black for a long time. “I was really great at performing. My depression was to the point where I couldn’t fake it anymore, that’s when I knew I was at rock bottom,” Black said.
Abused as a young child, Black was traumatized early on and was emotionally challenged at an age where children should remain innocent and oblivious to the horrors of real-life problems and emotional struggles. “Once you choose to take other people’s words and adopt them as your own, you begin to live through the power of those words. Because I chose to believe I was unwanted, unlovable, rejected, a dog, ugly and disgusting, I approached every person I met as a dog,” Black said.
In her book God Loves Ugly and Love Makes Beautiful, Black shares her heart wrenching stories about overcoming the diversities of being a human being that was mentally and physically abused by herself and others. “One of the most important things I’ve ever done, and that you could ever do, is go back in and begin to replace the faulty bricks with the real truth, one by one. You might have to face ugly monsters that you’ve fought to ignore. You might have to clean out dirty black rooms that you’ve been petrified to remember, but your house will never be free and whole until you do,” Black said.
Black does believe that if she had told her parents about the sexual abuse when she was younger then things may have turned out different. Looking back on that situation she said, “As parents you have to dialogue with your kids. It’s the parents responsibility to make it known that it is wrong. Coming clean is the first step.” Black emphasized that abused children feel a lot of shame, it’s a huge responsibility for them to come forth and tell their parents about their issues; but parents must educate their children at an early age about possible situations that could occur.
Black is a singer and songwriter who’s toured with big names like the Jonas Brothers. The limelight was an outlet for her talent but at that time it served as a shield that deflected others from the truth about Black. No one knew the truth behind the pain in her lyrics.
“My profession had me in front of people so much, it feed into my insecurities. The more real and approachable you can be makes people see that they are not alone,” Black said. In turn she was able to feed her addictions and shield the world away from the truth.
There was a moment that Black shares in her book, when she realized God would accept her no matter what she was or where she was in her life. In her book she says, “He accepted me right then at my very worst – the good, the bad, and the ugly. He loved me in the midst of my addictions, and He loved me despite my rebellion. He loved me even though I was cruel and bitter, and He loved me even though I lied and stole.”
When Black accepted God’s love, everything changed and her life had a new found meaning that didn’t involve hiding from the truth or feeding an addiction. In God Loves Ugly Black takes her readers on the journey of finding herself. “I couldn’t stop on a daily basis because I had to find help. The purpose of the book is to help everyone. Fear is bondage. Anxiety is bondage. The book will help anyone’s situation,” Black said.
On Black’s website she describes herself as wife, mother, author, speaker, songwriter and dreamer; perhaps the words courageous, inspirational, life-changing and innovative soul should be added to the list.
