Easy, right? More love, money, time, tenderness, play, money, comfort, power, freedom, culture, entertainment. You can get really specific with particular areas of your life, like, “I want to laugh more with my man.” Or “I want an additional $500 every pay period.” Or, “I want to spend more time in nature.” Or, “I want a friend to tell my big dreams to.”

I’m a raving fan of wishing and want-lists. But the downside is that wish lists can distract us from what’s already working in our life. And when you notice how rich you already are, you tend to prosper more.

Go through your wish list and next to each want, think about where you already have that quality or experience in your life — you might have to dig deep to find it. That’s okay. You’ll find it somewhere. Even if it’s just a speck.

“I want to laugh more with my man.” = Sally makes me laugh my ass off at least twice a week. Jack at work is good for a giggle everyday. (Action note to self: Call Sally more. Thank her for making me laugh. Hang out with Jack at the water cooler.)

“I want an additional $500 every pay period.” = I got money back from income taxes! I get a paid holiday next week. Now that I work at home on Fridays, I save $100 bucks a month on train fair and lunch out. (Affirmative note to self: my money/energy flow is increasing.)

“I want to spend more time in nature.” = Even though I work in florescent lights and haven’t been hiking all year, I’m bringing flowers to work this week, sleeping with the windows open, sitting on my balcony to say prayers every night before bed. (Action note to self: book that hike in NOW. No excuses.)

“I want a good friend to tell my big dreams to.” = My journal, my dog, and my deaf grandma are all great listeners. I can tell them anything and everything about my dreams and they don’t judge me. (Affirmative note to self: even if I don’t have a best friend who gets me, life hears my dreams. Every single one.)

Here’s what happens when you find evidence of dreams come true in your current reality (even if it’s a stretch to do so)

: you take the neediness vibe out of your aspirations, and when you’re less desperate you think more clearly and act more calmly

: you muster up gratitude (and gratitude is a form of empowerment)

: you might realize that you’re further along than you’ve been giving yourself credit for (hello confidence!)

So, what do you want… that you already have?

Danielle LaPorte is the outspoken creator of The Desire Map, author of The Fire Starter Sessions (Random House/Crown), and co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she writes weekly at DanielleLaPorte.com, where over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality”, and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes. You can also find her on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter @daniellelaporte.