Finding someone great to go out on a date with after many weeks or even months of searching is like finding your dream job with a great employer. Unfortunately, many people have trouble finding a date at all or they always date the wrong person. There are many reasons why it can be hard for you to find a date but I bet you’re searching in all the wrong places.
Find A Credible Online Dating or Social Media Site
If you’re wondering where to get your first date, the internet is a good place to start. There are numerous online dating sites and social websites where you can socialize with many different groups of people. The first step is choosing which site is right for you.
There are many online dating websites that you can sign up for free, but they have some disadvantages. Because they are free, all kinds of people can sign up including those that are not serious about finding love. Paid dating sites attract people who are more serious about their future relationship prospects so you might want to look into a paid site to have a better chance finding a date whose priorities line up with yours.
Always do a little bit of research about the website and read some of the reviews. A quality website will have testimonials and stories from successful members who found the website useful.
Increase your chances of finding a date by signing up with more than one website at once and using social media sites like Facebook. Facebook has plenty of groups and pages geared towards dating and finding love to connect yourself to like-minded people.
Create An Appealing Profile
Your profile should be an accurate but appealing representation of yourself. Your picture is the first thing that anyone will look at to decide if you are interesting enough to date. Make sure you look your best in your profile picture but don’t choose a photo that is so flawless that it looks unnatural. This means that you shouldn’t use Photoshop or any other photo-editing software to modify your pictures. Simply put, don’t upload photos that will misrepresent you. You don’t want your date surprised at how different you look in real life on the first date. Being surprised about someone’s appearance on the first date is almost always a turn-off.
When it comes to describing yourself in your profile, say something genuine. Saying you’re like music and food without being more descriptive doesn’t really say much about you. You can mention your work, but make sure not to let it thematically dominate your profile. You don’t want to come across as too obsessed with anything: your job, your dog or your collection of antique tea cups shouldn’t be the only thing you talk about in your profile. When you describe yourself, try and keep it short and positive so that you leave a good impression without revealing too much about yourself. Don’t write a novel and most importantly, don’t talk about what you don’t like. That isn’t attractive. Neither are typos, bad grammar or abbreviations.
Send Your First Message
If you find yourself visiting someone’s profile ten times a day, it’s time for you to your first message. The message should be substantial and appealing, with a hook that will get their attention.
Avoid tacky, sexual or offensive messages. Comments about someone’s appearance right off the bat are tacky and off putting, so don’t mention how sexy you think someone is. Just a simple “hi” and an engaging comment that demonstrates your interest in something in their profile is enough for the first contact.
How To Lock Down A Date
If you get a reply to your message, try to keep the conversation flowing by bringing up topics that you have in common or subjects of general current interest. Avoid controversial topics like politics or religion. The best thing for you to do is keep asking relevant questions and keep sharing more about yourself. If you have a great sense of humor, show it! Be prepared not only to ask questions, but to answer questions about yourself, too. Just make sure you know the difference between sharing and bragging.
When you feel that you’re ready to meet in person, don’t beat around the bush. You need to be specific. Statements like “Can I take you out sometime?” are too vague. Ask them to join you for a favorite activity. For instance, if you both like art, you can invite them to an art gallery opening. Remember not to be too pushy or too eager. Asking someone on a date online should be as subtle and tactful as it would be if you met them at a coffeeshop.
Once you’re past this step, you’ve made it through the hardest part. Summoning the nerve to make yourself vulnerable online takes courage. So be patient, be kind and most of all, have fun!
Love and dating expert Anna Karimo can see solutions to your relationship problems where others see only blind spots. She is the founder of Nouveau Dating, where experts strive to answer all of your dating questions and help you through your journey to finding love. Sign up for our newsletters to get the newest dating tips and advice right away!
