5 Lifegiving Truths Your Children Need to Hear

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Words matter. The best words stick and stay in your mind for a lifetime. Aibileen Clark, the black maid unjustly fired by her racist white employer in The Help, set in 1963 Mississippi, believed in the power of words. You probably know the nine words she planted like seeds in the mind of Mae Mobley, the two-year-old daughter of her employer: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” She believed her words would matter.

Words still matter today. But important words, especially for children, can easily get washed away in the modern flood of media and Internet content. Words in those fast-moving waters barely have time to stick, much less stay, in the mind. The wise parent, though, knows that their words to their children are different. They can be lifegiving words. Like seeds planted in fertile soil, their words can take root, grow, and shape a child’s life.

Enlightenment thinker John Locke (1632–1704) believed every human comes into the world as a tabula rasa, a “blank slate.” In contrast, Scripture assumes that children arrive already prepared by God. To use a modern analogy, the hard drive of a child’s mind is not empty, but already formatted and even programmed. Children bear the imago Dei, the image of God, and they are spiritually preconditioned to respond to their parents.

The biblical reality is that God has prepared the ground of your children’s hearts. If you water and cultivate that soil, the seed-words you plant there will take root and grow (Luke 8:15). But here’s the important part—you must choose good seeds to grow good children. With the words comprising the following five truths, you can tell your children who they are. There are countless other good seed-words you will speak, but these, like Aibileen’s simple words, can shape your children’s perceptions. Here are five life-giving truths to plant in your children.

“You Are God’s”

A gyroscope uses Earth’s gravity to help determine orientation. The spiritual gyroscope for your children’s hearts and minds is the understanding that they are God’s—that God created them, sees them, and loves them (Psalm 100:3). This is the most basic response to the existential question inherent to the human condition—Who am I? To use a biblical image, when you orient your children to God, you are steering them onto God’s “way of life.” Solomon, the wise king of Israel, said you’re either oriented to God on the path of life or you’re lost on the path of death (Proverbs 4:18-19). Reminding your children consistently that they belong to God—through Scripture reading, prayer, conversation, songs, books, Bible-verse posters, church, family devotions, worship—will keep them oriented to Him. You are, in a sense, their spiritual gyroscope. And whenever you can, just say the words: “You are God’s.”

“You Are Loved”

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Who can forget the loving golden retriever in the Disney-Pixar film Up? “My name is Dug. I have just met you. And I love you.” We relate to Dug not just as a dog but also as a paradigm of our own need for the love he freely offers. We’re made for love. There is perfect love in the Godhead—Father, Son, and Spirit—and that love is part of the image of God stamped on every soul. Your young children’s need for love is pure and unadulterated, and your words have the power to affirm that they are loved perfectly by God (1 John 3:1) and loved unconditionally by you (4:11). Your children will either grow up insecure and wondering if they are lovable or secure in the love you have spoken into them. Your words, planted and watered regularly, can secure their future: “You are loved.”

“You Are Good”

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Many theologians believe the core of God’s nature is His goodness. Everything He makes and does is because He is good. But knowing our children are junior sinners, we suspiciously wonder if God really means it about them. Yet our sin nature does not cancel God’s “It was very good” assessment of the man and woman he created (Genesis 1:31). Jesus taught that even before salvation takes place, His gospel seed can fall on the “good soil” of “an honest and good heart” (Luke 8:15). And Paul affirms to his Philippian friends his confidence that God will perfect the “good work” he began in them (1:6). God wants your children to know that He sees them as good, and He is working in their hearts to make them “gooder.” You can give your children a profound sense of God’s approval simply by reminding them, “You are good.”

“You Are You”

Part of your responsibility as a parent is to build a healthy self-image in your children. Words will be your main tool, and confidence will be your nails. Start by fostering confidence in God as a trustworthy designer who knows what He’s doing. Then foster a confidence in His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)—that how He has made each child is “good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). In addition to your children’s developing faith, personality will be a major factor in their self-esteem—understanding, liking, and accepting who they are as God’s creations and that they are “you-nique.” And your role will be as an indispensable synergizing agent: Knowing that you accept and rejoice in how God has made them will shape how they feel about God as a trustworthy designer and about themselves as “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Put it into simple words—“You are you.”

“You Are Ours”

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The Bible never says what the “image of God” is, but only that all humans are made with it (Genesis 1:26-27). One view that makes sense suggests that God’s image, reflecting the loving unity and nature of the triune Godhead, is our nature as relational creatures—we need to be connected. So, family is in our spiritual DNA. Family also provides the analogies by which we can understand and comprehend the nature of our transcendent Creator and God and His family—Father, Son, children, adoption, marriage to His church. Simply providing a strong and loving home will do the most for shaping your children’s self-perceptions of belonging to a family, both here and in eternity (Ephesians 3:14-15). But in our day of broken and disintegrating family ties, words are needed to reinforce and internalize that truth and reality. Never let your children forget—“You are ours.”