5 Reasons to Stop Judging Mothers

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For most new mothers, the realization that “mommy wars” exist is shocking. No one ever thinks they are going to be a part of a community and tribe of women who judge and offend one another because of the way we parent our children. We all judge, let’s be real here, but telling another mother that their way isn’t the “right” way is getting out of hand.

We are all doing our best as mothers, and just because you might do it differently doesn’t mean that the other mom’s way of doing it, is not a good way too. There is no right or wrong way of being a mom, there are different ways of being a mom, but we all have the same purpose. We all go through pretty much the same things and instead of bashing each other, we need each other for support. We need to be open minded and respectful in the different ways that we parent our children and raise them. As long as a mother is not mistreating or malnourishing a child and the child is happy just like yours, then just respect their way of parenting.

There is no reason to make another mother feel worse by judging who she is in only a short moment. Learn the reasons why you should be supportive of other moms, and less hateful.

We all are clueless about raising kids.

When we become moms for the first time, we are completely clueless. All those books, blogs, apps we read to prepare us for our baby goes out the window. It takes time to get the hang of being a parent. Each day that passes by, we learn something new. We read blogs or magazines, we see and we hear about ways to be a happier stay at home mom, or ways we can de-stress, what to do when your kids throw a public tantrum and so on and so forth. We are eager to learn how to be great moms to our kids, that each day we are learning tricks and tips about motherhood. At times we will feel clueless, scared and nervous, but at other times we will feel happy and blessed. We all have been there, don’t judge a mother who is panicked.

We all need some emotional support.

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There are days where we cry for absolutely no reason, days where we walk around like living zombies, and days where we envy our husbands for being able to use the bathroom without having three little monsters barge in. We all have cried at one point or another because we worry too much about being a good mother that sometimes it takes a toll on us. Most of us haven’t gotten a solid eight hours of sleep since our children were born, leaving us prone to irritability. Sometimes, we need to have another mom who simply understands the difficulty of having children. We need each other to lean on and to support one another, not judge or make us feel worst about it.

We all have lost our temper.

The crying for no reason, the whining because they want a toy, the fighting between siblings…it all can be incredibly stressful and honestly annoying. Kids can be difficult to handle and they sometimes don’t like to cooperate with us. The truth of the matter is, that we love our children unconditionally but boy do they push our buttons. Sometimes, though, we do lose it. We scream and then our kids listen. The moment we lose our cool, then they want to behave and do everything that we have been telling them to do for the past week. We break down sometimes, and that is okay. Don’t judge a mother when she is down and at her worst. We make mistakes and as long as it never crosses into abuse territory, we are able to learn and move forward.

We all take the role of Mama Bear seriously.

When we become a mother, something in us changes where we feel a deep desire to protect our children at all cost. If anyone hurts or mistreats them, we act all sorts of crazy. That’s our natural reaction as mothers, though. Our children feel secure with us, so we want to provide them with comfort. When we hear about a child who was hurt by other people, we first cry, second we get angry and third we put ourselves in the mother’s shoes. We hurt with the mom and we hurt for the child. It’s in our veins and heart to be mama bears and we take it seriously. So, while we judge a mother who is having to yell at her young son, it could be coming from a place of care and protection.

We all want to be good moms.

Us mothers are all in a tribe together. At the end of the day, we all just want to be the best mothers we can be to our children. We want to be able to provide them with laughter, memories, and most importantly a loving home. We would kill for our children, we live for them, we work hard for them, we have goals to achieve because of them…we are moms together in this. We don’t like being told how to be a mother to our children, and we have no right to tell another mom what she is doing wrong when it’s only an opinion. Support other mothers instead of bashing them for their parenting style, because again, we all just want to be the best mother we can be.