Negative Thoughts Every Parent Should Avoid

Ask anyone, what are the top most stressful jobs an individual can have? I’m willing to bet that the majority of the people asked will agree that being a parent is without a doubt one of the hardest jobs you’ll have in life. Partly because there’s not definitive answer on how to parent. Furthermore, every child is different – so what works for one child may not necessarily work for another. This constant up and down of events can cause any parent, even the sanest ones, to be clouded with negative thoughts.

Parents are constantly asking themselves: Am I doing this right? What am I doing wrong? What can I do better? Are my children going to be okay? Will they hate me? Ultimately, I could go on and on with these endless questions. They can range from very extreme to very minuet. Either way, it’s not at all easy. The best thing parents can do is rid themselves of a handful of negative thoughts - here are the negative thoughts moms and dads should avoid at all costs.

I’m Not Good Enough

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Guess what friend, you are fantastic! You’re more than good enough – you’re perfect! God chose you to be this child’s parent. He knew that you, and only you, could be strong enough to handle the obstacles of parenting this child. He believes in you therefore, you should believe in yourself. It’s going to get difficult because no one raised a human being without challenges. If you begin to believe the negative thoughts of you not being good enough, then it will slowly consume your soul and your being.

Fight the urge to put yourself down and recognize your strengths. Be open to ways you can improve and speak up. Instead of keeping everything bottled up inside, talk to other parents about your struggles. Build a community that you can go to when things get rough and you begin to second guess your ability to parent. The power of a group of people is life changing and can be the inspiration you need to get out of your self-pity hole.

I’m Going to Lose My Cool

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We’ve all been there. Yes, where you feel like you’re losing your mind and everything else seems to be against you. The best solution is to get away from the controversial situation, take a deep breath and reevaluate your course of action. Taking time away can help you see the bigger picture before you explode. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and to be get upset. But it’s not okay to react and parent off of anger.

Evaluate the situation, with a level head, and look for ways you can parent with a well-rounded view on your situation and child. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Ask your friends and family members that also have children. Discuss possible ways you can parent with a different point of view that will be effective with your child.

I Can’t do Anything Right

There is no manual on how to raise children. While there may be a lot of parenting books that provide a substantial amount of advice and tips, none of those books will provide you a step-by-step process on what will and won’t work with your child. Instead of getting frustrated keep keeping on. You have to be resilient and not allow failure to keep you down. Keep in mind that you’ll never know if something is going to work if you don’t try and you’ll never know what will work if you don’t continue to forge forward.

Furthermore, it’s very important not to dwell within the negative mindset of not being able to do anything right. Your children will pick up on your negative thoughts and their behavior and actions will reflect. Refocus your energy on something else and focus on things that you’re positive are going right in life. You’ll find that looking at the glass as if it’s half full versus half empty then it will help you be a better person overall.

What’s Wrong with My Child?

Okay, so parents everywhere can relate – at some point every parent has asked themselves ‘what’s wrong with my child?’ First things first, recognize that there is nothing wrong with your child. Secondly, try to adjust your parenting style and views to better accommodate your child’s personality. If you’ve already done this then there is a third step – which is simply repeat.

Ask yourself, what can you do to better understand your child’s point of view? If you’re not sure, then try to spend some quality one-on-one time with your kid. Bonding together will provide you with the opportunity to get to know your child on another level that may assist you in your parenting style and tactics. Obviously, this isn’t an easy one time fix however continued time together will alleviate stressful parenting situations that cause you to ask ‘what’s wrong with my child?’

My Child Hates Me

So here’s the deal with parent-child relationships – children are not supposed to be friends with their parents. There is no doubt that there will be a lot of times when your child is disappointed and takes out their aggression directly on you. It’s important to recognize that children are learning how to be individuals and they’re learning how to express their emotions – so guess what parents, you’re the one person that’s going to feel the brunt of their emotions.

The negative thought that ‘my child hates me’ is a normal feeling, but it’s not one that should be allowed to stay within a parent’s mindset. Next time you feel like that, remember that same phrase that your parents said to you, “Act your age not your shoe size.” Well, friends that saying is relevant within this situation as well. Your child is young and is coming into their emotions. They’re learning how to distinguish between frustration and confusion. Instead of harping on the whirlwind of emotions yourself, be the foundation that your child need and look for ways you can help them discover their feelings appropriately.