It’s tough to see the evil in someone when we’re blinded by love. One of the biggest reasons we have trouble seeing evil-hearted or psychopathic behavior is probably because it’s difficult to believe that these types of evil individuals actually exist. We can’t really imagine that someone is devising or hurting us with no conscience or that someone is lying and making up stories so that they can hurt us. It’s also hard for us to understand the reason behind all of it – the physical and emotional pain and destruction.
Unfortunately, these types of people really do exist, and you may know them personally or intimately. The following signs indicate that you may be dealing with someone with an evil heart. If these five indicators are showing up in your relationship, it’s probably in your best interest to step away from the relationship.
They create confusion, chaos, and conflicts.
People with evil hearts are often selfish and experts at creating confusion, chaos and conflicts. The narcissistic lover with a narcissistic personality will create turmoil on a regular basis and on purpose to keep you in a heightened state of anxiety. They will do this even when things are good, so you don’t expect the relationship to go left or to be kicked to the curb. This is why the silent treatment always catches us off-guard, sending us into a tail-spin trying to figure out what happened. Creating chaos is one of the oldest narcissistic tactics in the book, next to the silent treatment and is absolutely intentional.
They’re experts at fooling others with their flattering words.
People with evil hearts are experts of flattery. They want other people to think that they’re better, more attractive, more interesting and smarter than everyone else. In the initial phases of a relationship, they tend to tell whoever they’re dating that they are wonderful, attractive, interesting and intelligent because they think that it reflects well on them: they’re marvelous, so they choose marvelous partners. The trouble is that they can’t deal with the inevitable result of what that proves: your development of affection for them. So what do they do? They flip the script. The minute you start getting close to them, the fear of exposing their intrinsic lack of lovability starts to kick in, and they’ll begin to push you away, leaving you confused, upset and in pain.
They take advantage of good or vulnerable people.
If your partner is constantly consumed with their life and their needs, proceed with caution. People with evil hearts will take advantage of you. They play on the kindness and sympathy of good people and then try to mislead them. They will demand mercy but never give any themselves. They will also push for warmth, forgiveness and intimacy from those they have harmed with no empathy. They also have no real intention of making amends or working hard to regain lost trust. A partner that does not concentrate equally to both individuals in the relationship will not change their priorities down the road.
They demand control.
People with evil hearts not only demand control but also crave it. Controlling people use a whole arsenal of tools in order to dominate their partners – whether they or their partners realize what’s happening or not. Sometimes, the emotional manipulation is complex enough that the person who is being controlled actually believes that they themselves are the villain or that they are fortunate that their partner puts up with them. Their highest authority is their self-reference. They reject feedback and real accountability and make up their own rules to live by. They are the type to use Scripture to their advantage but ignore and reject passages that might require self-correction and repentance.
They have no conscience.
People with evil hearts don’t know the meaning of the words remorse, guilt or shame. This means they can do practically anything and then act as if nothing happened, then hit you with “What are you making a fuss about?” They don’t even struggle to fight against their sins or evil. In fact, they actually enjoy it, all while masquerading as someone of noble character. They also have no fear. They do not care what others think of them unless it involves being exposed, which would affect their ability to con further. They will say the most outrageous things and then act like nothing happened when it is convenient for them.
When they apologize, they look to you to be their advocate for amnesty and believe grace means they’re immediately given immunity from the fallout of their severe sin. They believe forgiveness permits them to complete reconciliation and will pressure you to comply. The Bible says that talking doesn’t wake up evil people, but consequences might. Jesus didn’t wake up the Pharisees with His talk, nor did God’s counsel impact Cain in Genesis 4. Additionally, the Bible says that when someone is genuinely sorry for the pain they’ve caused, they’re eager to make amends to those whose sin harms them.
Recognizing the signs that someone is taking advantage of you is hard, especially when you love them, but we must confront evil head-on. The longer we try to reason with someone with an evil heart, the more we become a pawn in their game. When we confront evil, chances are good that the evil heart will stop counseling with us because the darkness hates the light, and the foolish and evil heart rejects correction. Place the power back in your hands.
