Just like the modern women--modern men have their baggage. All of us want everything fast, easy and don’t want to work at a relationship if it becomes too hard. We don’t know what it is to toil for their living like prior generations. Things come easier for us. Technology has made us lazy. We live in a generation where we rather text people rather than talking to them. Life has to be easy, so why shouldn’t our relationships be the same? No wonder we are screwing up our relationships and lives. We need to revisit our core values like trust, fidelity and dedication--the hallmarks of a solid relationship. If we were doing it right 50 percent of marriages wouldn’t be failing. The fact is modern men are not successful in their relationships and here are 6 compelling reasons why.
The focus too much on making a living.
Men hunted and gathered food for their kin, something they did for centuries. He was the source of survival. As we progressed through the years, the roles shifted and men no longer were the traditional breadwinners and protectors of the family. He would share the role and responsibility with his mate. With the shift, careers and pleasure became more of a focus. Time with the family started to decrease. The mindset was if the family was financially cared for that life was good. We need money to support our families, but work doesn’t end after we punch out with the advent of technology. Make time to reset priorities and spend quality time with them. A paycheck is great, but in the end they are the only ones who will be there for you.
They are seduced by technology.
More people are seduced by tweeting, blogging, video games and obsessed with anything that is a distraction. We do not want to delay gratification and constantly crave detours to keep us occupied. Our daily interactions with technology are seducing and they are driving a wedge between relationships. Dr. Larry Rosen called it an iDisorder. People with an iDisorder are obsessed with electronic devices. They are afraid of “missing out on social information, work information, and our personal pursuits can put us in a state of anxiety and even cause panic attacks, sometimes with serious consequences,” he told Psych Central. Nothing is more annoying when you are having a conversation and they keep glancing at their phone. Let the technology go. The health of your marriage might depend on it.
They want instant gratification.
We need it, we want it so give it to me now! No we are not talking about kids here. We are talking about adults. Patience has become an anachronism. For example if things are not going well in the bedroom, people will not work to fix the situation but will find other alternatives like cyber porn. Instead of going to therapy some might opt for finding another relationship instead. Relationships take and require a lot of maintenance. There is nothing easy about this. Are you willing to put the time in to make it work or take the easy route?
They are self-centered.
Being self-centered will make you fail in your relationships and in life. Nobody wants to be with someone who only thinks of themselves. The signs for this are always blaming others for wrong behavior, and never taking responsibility. They expect more than what they are willing to give. “This the type that thinks his government, society, people around him and the world owes it to him without him giving much in return,” The Huffington Post reported. If this is you, back it up and trace the roots. Be honest with yourself. If you are being too self-absorbed, correct it. One of the reasons marriages are not working out is we are a selfish bunch.
They are lazy.
The Blaze’s Matt Walsh wrote that a passive man is a lazy man. Men need to be leaders in the home and not passively let things go until they are broken. This means cleaning, bills or contributing to the marriage. Leaving a leadership void will encourage chaos in the home and in the relationship. Kids are looking for leadership from their dads. Learn to “love the leadership role and do it with humility and love, as servants, not as emperors,” Walsh explained. Roles have changed over years, but women are looking for their men to be leaders of the household.
They can’t communicate.
If you assume that you are a great communicator, you might want to think again. Anger is not communicating; neither is relying on texting to convey feelings of love. Tell your wife you love her in person. Express signs of gratitude by saying “I appreciate you.” It can be that simple. Help her around the house, give her hugs, or write a note to encourage her. No matter what you do make the effort to communicate with your partner today. By not communicating you are opening the door to misunderstanding, assumptions that you don’t care or you don’t want to be involved in the relationship. In a culture that relies heavily on texting to get the word out, tell your girl in person how you appreciate her. Maybe you can even leave a voice mail. This is pretty old school!
Relationships are failing because we’ve changed focus on what is important. Friends, family and our communities are suffering because we are drifting through life with the perception that everything will fall into place. People view marriage as a contract, not as a covenant. We don’t see relationships as an equal partnership. Additionally, we worship feelings when they are good and contemplate divorce when things go south. A marriage requires a lot of attention and requires that you love each other through the bad. Being modern doesn’t mean we toss what is important aside. The good news is you can make positive changes for your relationships to flourish. It comes down to a simple commitment and work.
