7 Shady Things Girls Do That Are as Bad as Cheating

Shutterstock.com

Cheating is one of the easiest ways to damage a relationship. For many, discovering an affair is the point of no return in a relationship. The reason infidelity is the closest thing to impossible to resolve and work through is because it completely shatters the most basic foundation of a relationship: trust. How you can you trust your partner after he or she breaks the bond of intimacy in such a significant way? But outside of cheating, there are many other things that have the power to ruin your relationship just as cheating did, if not more. These acts can collapse even the strongest bonds and are classified as worse than cheating by many. These things might seem very small and insignificant in the beginning only to blow up in the faces of those who do them later on. That’s why committing these offenses is especially dangerous and has the power to implode your relationship. For some, they are just as bad as cheating and for others, they are more harmful than cheating could ever be. These acts of betrayal can’t be undone. Here are seven things girls do that are just as bad as cheating.

Lying and Hiding Things

Shutterstock.com

How many times have you lied or hidden things from your man, then justified those acts so that the betrayal didn’t seem so bad. The truth is, a lie is a lie no matter how you try to spin it. It’s hard to admit it, but it’s the reality. Even if you try to tell yourself that you’re not telling them because you want to spare them the truth, you’re just doing it to appease your conscious and only doing more long term damage. Keeping little things from someone you’re dating can grow into a big problem and completely destroy trust in your relationship. You should be able to tell your partner pretty much anything. If you’re hiding something because it would hurt them, then you probably shouldn’t do that thing in the first place.

Staying in a Relationship Out of Convenience

Shutterstock.com

Lots of girls stay in relationships because they are convenient. Often times, girls stay in these relationships because they believe there are no options left for them. They believe it’s impossible to start again with someone who wants the same things they do. So they settle, and never let the person they’re with know what they’re feeling. Good relationships should be convenient in a sense, in that they aren’t disruptive to your everyday life, but convenience becomes very problematic when the relationship has no sparks whatsoever. Whether it’s because you don’t want to disappoint your family with a breakup or because you have a big trip planned in the next few months, staying together just because you feel you should only leads to bitter resentment and an excessive amount of fighting and heartbreak, when there was a chance you might’ve been able to remain friendly.

Manipulation

Shutterstock.com

There are girls who use manipulation as a tactic to create a sense of control in the relationship. In psychological manipulation, one person is used for the benefit of the other. The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power. The reason this one is so tricky is because it’s often so subtle you don’t even realize you’re being manipulated or even doing something manipulating until it’s too late. Often times, the relationships that will leave you feeling the most broken aren’t the ones dealing with heartbreak, but the ones dealing with manipulation. They tear away at your self-esteem and self-worth. The damage of the manipulation can also carry over to future relationships. Sometimes, you don’t realize how manipulated you were until you’re in another relationship and you can’t seem to move past your brokenness.

Withholding Affection

Shutterstock.com

Withholding affection can cause irreparable damage in a relationship. Ask any guy and he’ll tell you stories of rejections that cut him to the bone. When a lover withholds affection, it’s a particular kind of rejection that can affect a person’s self-esteem or thought process. Whether affection means being really touchy-feely, asking each other intense questions about meaningful things, or helping each other through obstacles, being absent and unaffectionate hurts the person you’re with and can really hurt your relationship. If there’s an intentional lack or even absence of affection, then it can cause serious doubts to show up in the relationship that are big enough to devastate it. If either of you is doing this to the other, it’s important that you get to the heart of the issue. You and the person you’re with should always feel loved, valued and appreciated.

Talking Down

Shutterstock.com

Do you talk down to your partner, make them feel like you’re more intelligent them or make them feel like they’re naive, ignorant or gullible? Being condescending towards your man can be one of the quickest relationship killers. Not only does it make him feel small, but it also makes him feel like you have absolutely no respect for the relationship. Talking down to your partner is just another way of making yourself bigger or more powerful than them, and a power imbalance is not a part of a lasting, healthy relationship. You can deny it all you want, but if you’re looking down on your partner, that’s exactly what you’re doing and is just as bad as cheating.

Codependency

Shuttterstock.com

Codependency is a serious problem for relationships and is a dynamic of unhealthy relationships. It doesn’t simply mean you depend on each other. It means that a person gets their sense of self-worth from fixing the other person’s messes. This commonly shows up in relationships that involve addicts. The non-addicted member of the relationship has a need to fix the things the addict messes up. They cover for the other member of the relationship. For example, when the alcoholic is sick and can’t go to work, their partner calls in sick for them and goes to pick up the kids from school and everything else their partner was supposed to do as they struggle through their hangover. It’s more about serving the other, than taking care of their own needs.

Not Being Truthful

Shutterstock.com

Most people in the dating game want to impress the person they’re talking to, and may tell a few lies to boost themselves or reflect that they’re the right person to be in a relationship with. Being inauthentic with the person you’re talking to is one of the worse things you can do, because it sets a foundation for continual lies and deceit in the relationship. You may think you’ll impress the person first, and then think about how to work around those lies, but the truth is a relationship doesn’t stand a chance if it’s built on lies and deceit. It’s always better to be upfront with your partner from the jump, with your quirks and all. If they’re running for the hills, they’re not worth your time. But if they stick around, they may just be the one.