6 Things to Contemplate Before You Cheat l Effects of Cheating in Relationships l Reasons Not to Cheat

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Cheating on your spouse is ugly and can become uglier when you get caught. When Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley tried to cover up an adulterous affair with a former adviser, he lost his wife, career and all respect. Bentley most likely entered his marriage believing it will last forever. Over time, power and neglect got in somewhere and created an environment for adultery. If these behaviors don’t change, they will tear your relationship apart. Yes, people change and people drift apart. This could be the reason that people cheat or it is just an excuse. The now former governor, who thought he could cover up his extra-marital affair, found that there were consequences to his activities. Don't play the fool because you could be the one disgraced, to lose your family, friends and lose money in divorce court. The bottom line? If you are relying on another person to you meet your emotional and physical needs, you are close to the edge and could fall into an abyss like our example. Here are 6 things to contemplate before you cheat.

You Could Lose Friends

Get ready to lose close friends as most likely they will side with the innocent party if you cheat. Most people don’t realize that cheating is death to a relationship and to friendships. The reason is it puts people in a bad position where they will feel angry and disappointed by your decision. This is masked by the pessimism that you can't be trusted. If you have other couples that you both are friends with, they might end the relationship to avoid being caught in the middle. Think about the relationships that you invested in over the years, and kiss them "good-bye" for the most part. You will also have to deal with family members who will likely make your indiscretions known. Your parents, siblings and other relatives could really give you a cold shoulder out of resentment and frustration.

Expect Humiliation

You might not face the amount of public humiliation that the governor did in Alabama. But believe us, if it becomes known, you will be trashed on social media and on other platforms. If you are not a victim of this dilemma, the knowledge of your mistake could be detrimental in your social circles and in your career. You might start putting the blame on your partner and not taking responsibility. Maybe you are justifying your actions. "Cheaters are really good at not taking responsibility. They pin the blame on you. They triangulate. But when you step out of the triangle of dysfunction, they have to live with themselves," The Huffington Post shared. If you want to avoid the embarrassment with others and yourself don't cross the line. This is the risk that you start to take if you decide to cheat.

You Will Need Redemption

If you are toying with the idea of cheating, you will need to seek forgiveness from man and God. If you seek forgiveness, don't expect everyone to gush over you for the pain and anguish that your actions caused. No matter how you spin it, you’re the one at fault and now it is your responsibility to find redemption for yourself. Cheating impacts more than people, it will impede your spiritual life. The journey of recovery and redemption is long and you need to confess your sins and allow God to work on you. Do you really want to deal with this kind of mess? "Do not commit adultery. It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into hell," Matthew 5:27-30 explained. Skip this altogether and avoid the temptation to sin in this area.

Your Children Will Suffer

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Think about the pain that your affair will have on your children. Many divorces are caused by infidelity and according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, one out of every two marriages today ends in divorce. Children often believe they have caused the conflict between their parents. "Many children assume the responsibility for bringing their parents back together, causing them additional stress." Putting children at risk for divorce for no reason is selfish and is cruel punishment. Not only this, but your narrow-mindedness will damage their perception of what marriage is supposed to be. This will impact their experience in the world and in their relationships. Do you want them to behave in such a matter as adults?

You Will Experience Stress

If you cheat, you will be more stressed because you did or are doing something that is wrong and deceitful. This adds to the stress of life and adds stress to the innocent involved. When we are going through stress our immune system kicks into high gear and puts our body on alert. Stress may cause an upset stomach, gas, weight loss, weight gain, headaches and depression. Additionally, chronic stress can make the body less effective in warding off bacteria and viruses. Mentally, you will be fatigued and just an unhappy person. Even if you think that the body can take it, the symptoms of stress will materialize in physical ways. However, you can lessen the risk by rethinking your choices and taking a long pause before jumping into an affair. When you hear that guilt can kill a person, it could be true, if not, stress might do it for you.

You Will Pay

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Maybe the cost of a potential divorce will stop you in your tracks. The average divorce ranges from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. If you have assets, you could lose most of them and if there is proof of your affair, you could lose everything. Unless you don't care about money, take a chance. But you could loose everything you worked hard for like your house and your nest egg that you both built over the years. Do you remember watching a movie ("Fatal Attraction") where the characters had an affair and then parted only to return to a broken life? Did it ever bode well for them, their bank accounts and lives? Yes, this is fiction, but you get the point. Keep your wondering eye to yourself, for real, it is not worth the cost.