The past can’t be changed. No matter how hard and long you pray for a re-do, unfortunately you can’t rewind time and erase your mistakes. Moreover, you can’t expect people to forgive you for the pain and anguish that your actions have caused when you haven’t taken recourse to change. Take responsibility for your actions and ditch any and all excuses that you may have. In reality, you have no one but yourself to blame for cheating. No matter what how you spin it, you’re the one at fault and now it is your responsibility to find redemption for yourself.

First things first, you need help and no matter what elements you seek out the only one that’s truly capable of changing things is yourself. The journey of recovery and redemption is a long one and the only person that will stand by yourself no matter what is God. Therefore, you must humble yourself and seek him out. Communicate with him on a daily basis and allow him to guide you on your journey of redemption. Find comfort in his words and the teachings he’ll provide you during the trials and tribulations. Confess your sins and let him assist during your road to recovery.

Now, with God by your side, get to the core reasoning behind your cheating. There’s a reason why you engaged in the adulterous act – do some soul searching and find out why. Keep in mind, this will not be an easy process because you’ll have to walk the line of difficult times and open doors that have remained closed for quite some time. However, through your searching you’ll be able to find the core reason why you’ve cheated whether it is insecurity within your own skin, self-esteem, unhappiness or something else. Once you’re able to isolate the problem, seek out a way to resolve the issue at hand and find peace within yourself. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and allow God to heal your mind, body and soul.

Now that you’ve forgiven yourself, you can apologize and sincerely speak your sorrows. Apologize for your actions and take ownership for the mistakes you’ve committed. Don’t provide excuses or make the issue at hand about yourself and the journey of redemption you’ve developed. Instead, say sorry and listen to those you’ve hurt. While their words may speak harsh truth, give them the opportunity to therapeutically heal with this conversation and you’ll find that knowing they’re at peace will in turn provide you with peace as well. Use this time to improve your communication skills with the Lord, yourself and others.

Now make a plan and take action. Your plan should contain elements to continue your healing process and give you opportunities to grow from your bad decisions. Despite your weighing conscious and life being turned upside down, it’s not the end. Learn from your mistakes and become a better person. It’s not the end of the world if you continue to fight and work to become a better you.