4 Ways to Get Over a Breakup Fast

Breaking up is never fun, but it is something almost everyone has experienced. Some people are lucky enough that most of their relationships end in a way that both people can still talk to each other. Others get stuck with the crazy ex who trashes their car and eggs their house. Most people, however, end up dealing with a period of pain and rage followed by several months or awkwardness when they run into their ex at the supermarket. Regardless of what form the breakup takes, no one wants to extend that period of numbness, misery and simple disorientation as they try and remember who they are when they are not part of an “us.” No one enjoys that phase, and everyone does everything they can to hasten its ending. Some post-breakup tips backfire spectacularly, such as going out of your way to make your ex jealous. Others help you heal. Here are four ways to get over a breakup fast and get back into your groove.

Give Up Hope

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“Abandon all hope ye who have been dumped.” Okay, that is not how the quote goes, but the advice is still solid. When you break up, you need to let go of any hope that you are getting back together with your ex. You will not be able to move forward with your life until you truly let go of that fantasy reunion where they fall on their knees, confess how much they love you and beg you to take them back. Frankly, that is not going to happen, but as long as you hold out hope that it could, you will be stuck in post-breakup misery. Subconsciously, you will still be waiting for your ex to come back to you instead of moving forward with your own healing and life. So, give yourself five minutes of beautiful, delusionary fantasy. Then, toss it in the mental garbage heap, and work on accepting that things are over between the two of you. Finish eating the leftovers of the last meal he cooked and put away all the pictures she plastered all over the fridge. Stop holding onto the past so that you can move forward into the future.

Stalking Leads to Sobbing

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Social media makes it pretty easy to know exactly what your ex is up to, and smartphones make it very hard to walk away from the temptation to dig into their life. You are used to seeing them every day and knowing all the intimate details of their life. Now, you are blind to what they are doing. What if they already found someone else? What if they are trash talking you on Twitter? What if, worst of all, they want you back and you missed their post and you are doomed to be alone forever because you did not see that heartfelt plea for your love that they posted to Instagram at 2:00 a.m.?

Stop right there, and put the phone away. Stalking your ex on social media will do nothing except prolong your misery. The two of you are done, so does it really matter what they are posting on social media? All social media stalking your ex will do is delay your own recovery. You will be sad they are not as torn up as you are by the breakup, angry that they dared to move on faster than you did or feeling guilty that they still have not recovered either. Remove yourself from the miasma of misery that comes from social media stalking your ex, and focus on the real world instead of the digital.

Pity Party, Not Pity Roommate

The last thing you should do when you are in emotional pain is bottle up your emotions and refuse to deal with them. Suppressed emotional pain can lead to depression, but even if you escape serious mental health issues, ignoring your feelings sets you up for trouble. Eventually, you will reach your breaking point and be unable to hold it back any longer. The floodgates will open, and you will randomly burst into tears at work or start screaming at the poor cashier who asked if you had any coupons.

Admitting to and accepting your pain, however, is not the same as asking it to move in with you. Avoid listening to sad songs on repeat, and resist the temptation to fill your social media with sad quotes about breakups. Do not be afraid to cry when you need to, but make sure that when the tears are done, you pick yourself back up. There is nothing you can do to change the fact that life has knocked you down. You can decide, however, how long you stay down.

Friend Protection Squad

Whether you are trying to play a prank on your brother, hide the fact that you were out after curfew or get over a breakup, your friends are your greatest allies. Even though you may want to wallow in misery and hide under the covers after a breakup, force yourself to spend time with your friends. They will let you cry on their shoulders in the immediate aftermath and will supply the wine or beer needed to help you rant about your ex and get the anger out of your system. They will also be the ones to drag you out of the house and force you to get back on your feet. Your friends can help you see the silver lining in the breakup. They are also essential in keeping you from doing something you will regret. A friend can take away your phone so you do not text your ex at three in the morning begging them to take you back. They can also drag you away by the ear when you are considering keying your ex’s car. You may not like it much in the moment, but your friends are there to help you and save you from yourself.