6 Things to Never Do on a First Date

Cancel Suddenly

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If you have made plans for a date, follow through with them. Do not cancel at the last minute. Your date has taken the time out of their schedule to spend time with you. They may have rearranged their schedule or put off doing something else important in order to make the date. Respect their time and the commitment they have made. If you are concerned that something will come up, make the date for a different night. If for whatever reason that night is the only time you and your date can meet, but you are on call for work or a previous commitment, be sure that you let your date know in advance that you want to spend time with them, but you may be called away suddenly. Then, they can make the choice of whether or not they want to reschedule.

Focus on Your Phone

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Little is ruder than staring at your phone while someone is talking to you. If you are on a date with someone, they should be your focus. They have taken the time out of their schedule to share an afternoon or evening with you. Respect their time and their energy. They agreed to spend time with you, not empty air while you grunt monosyllabic answers and stare at Instagram. You can do that at home alone instead of wasting your date’s time.

If you have agreed to go on a date with someone, you are assuming that they are interesting enough to be worth getting to know better. So, you should be able to keep yourself entertained by talking with them and not need to stare into your phone. Ignoring or interrupting anyone in favor of staring at your phone is rude, but it is especially poor form on a date. Telling your date to “hang on” while you check your notifications is a clear way to tell them “you are not interesting or important enough to hold my attention.” If you favor your phone over your date, expect your next date to involve you and the screen alone.

Not Taking Care of Your Appearance

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Assuming your relationship lasts and progresses into something more serious, you will see her in ratty old sweats with knotted hair and dirt under her fingernails. You will see him in an ancient t-shirt, stained jeans and covered in sweat. When the relationship is serious and has been going on for some time, you can expect to see your partner at their worst. On a first date, though, make an effort to look nice. Even if you met while volunteering at a river cleanup when you were both covered in mud, sweat, garbage and wearing thigh-high, hazmat-style galoshes, get cleaned up for a first date. You do not have to wear a suit or a ball gown, but make sure you shower, shave and brush your teeth and hair. Making yourself look nice shows that you took time to prepare for a date and value your date’s opinion.

Appearance Fiddling

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Most people want to look nice when they go on a date. They may put on their best clothes or do something special with their hair. This is a good idea, but be sure that you are not distracted by your appearance all night. Wearing uncomfortable clothing can lead to you shifting constantly in your seat if your jeans are too tight, repeatedly fussing with the collar of your shirt or trying to tug down a skirt that is a little shorter than you thought.

Be sure to avoid constantly checking your appearance as well. Checking your lipstick after the appetizer is one thing. Going to the bathroom to smooth out your beard four times during a date is another. While most people like to date someone who takes pride in their appearance, no one wants to date a narcissist. For that same reason, avoid taking a dozen selfies on a date as well.