4 Things to Avoid When Single and Christian

Game of Thrones

This show, although full of masterful plot twists around every corner, unfortunately shows more skin than Miami’s East beach, and works an orgy into every episode. One time an especially scandalous character dropped trou, and I still for the life of me don’t know why. Whatever the reason, if you happen to be a single person trying to keep a pure thought life, shows like Outlander and GOT aren’t the entertainment picks for you. Even if you manage to cling to your covers and reassure yourself you’ll have lots of time for such fun when you meet Mr. Right, these lusty shows can be even more depressing even romantic comedies. At least with the latter, you don’t actually want corny, predictable romance. But that last GOT scene with John Snow and the wildling girl - oh please Lord let this man-drought be over. Yes, the single crowd should stick to a strict diet of Jane Austen flicks, where champions of chasteness went years before getting their man. Heads up, ladies, there’s a Mr. Darcy around the next corner, now cancel your HBO immediately.

Taking the Advice of Non-Christian Friends

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Bless them. They’re only trying to help, but telling these buds our plans to save the romping for marriage will come with as much shock as if you confessed you’re Elvis reborn. We’ve all seen it: draws dropped, long pauses, and then it comes - “oh you’re not joking?!” Nope, the shop stays closed until we have a serious investor and these conversations are not helping the lonely shopkeeper. Sadly even most people raised in quasi-Christian homes don’t even know pre-marital sex is a no, so now your friends think you’re some sort of a-sexual head case who needs to loosen her grip on the Bible and have some fun. Enough of these discussions will definitely wear you out, especially after hitting 29 and still no sign of a white horse, or even a cream-colored Hyundai coming your way. And going out for girls night #345, listening to friends share their dating exploits doesn’t help. He was that good a kisser huh? Well I’ll be derned.

Signing up for on a Non-Christian Dating Website, and Hoping for the Best

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C’mon, did we really think that checking off all the “God is VERY important to me” boxes on Match was gonna reel in a mid-30’s born again with a heart for missions? Not a chance on your chastity belt. This is like fishing for salmon in the ocean and thinking you’ll score by using freshwater bait. There are indeed plenty ‘o fish, but not in this river of Hepatitis B. I understand the temptation. Sometimes the Christian brothers have a hard time resisting the corny selfie and “Will ANY one marry me?!” expressions, and we wonder if more promise is beheld on the secular sites. A literal post from Username BCrucified33: “I want a soul mate who loves God, knows how to cook and wants at least four kids.” This kind of nonsense might lead a weaker sister towards the dark side, but be warned, no amount Christian cheesiness is worth compromising values, or sharing even one cup of coffee with “tribaltattoo1.”

Getting too Cozy with that Attractive Non-Christian

I get it. We’ve rejected eager, good-looking (and employed) suitors on the sheer basis that they don’t know the Lord, and should be justly rewarded with a strapping husband by the year’s end. But when such delivery delayed, we’re left wondering if we should really remain deprived of all man scent ignore the flirty compliments given by our attractive co-worker? Yes, yes you should. Go home directly to your loyal Collie, run to the gym-do anything other than going for after work apps or “grab a coffee” with the flirty “friend’ with the good arms. Because hanging out with that charming non-Christian after what seems like ages of singlehood is like throwing a 2 year-old in a candy store and hoping he’ll stick to the organic trail mix you packed him. Things could go awry.