When you both met, the tantalizing heat and magnetic connection between you was intense and magical. Life felt bright, refreshing, and paradisiacal. It was as if nothing, and no one else, existed in the world but you and your partner. Fast forward five, 10, 20 or more years, both of you feel tired and burdened by your responsibilities. Perhaps you have children, busy jobs, compacted timetables, or other concerns.

You don’t know why, but something feels lacking. The spark in your relationship has dimmed. Maybe you’re even struggling to find a sense of connection with your partner and are wondering, “what went wrong”? Life has a way of bringing us back to reality sooner or later. As demands, stresses, obligations, and duties arise, it can be challenging to maintain a deep spiritual connection with our partners.

What is a Spiritual Connection?

A spiritual connection is a deep kinship felt between two people. This deep closeness goes beyond superficial personality traits, likes, dislikes, or shared interests. Instead, a spiritual connection is about sharing the same fundamental values, beliefs, life goals, and dreams as the other. Two people who share a spiritual connection will meet each other on the same vibrational wavelength and will be able to share everything. Spiritually connected couples often share honesty, mutual respect, gratitude for each other, and empathetic listening.

The Recurring Nature of Love.

No relationship ever remains the same because the nature of life is continuous, moment-to-moment change. One minute you will be passionately engaged with each other, and the next, you will both be distant. It’s important to remember that it’s normal to experience these instabilities in your relationship. You might even notice that your connection with your partner is cyclical, meaning that it follows a circular pattern of change.

For example, in one period of time, you might share a lot of deep conversations, followed by quietly sharing each other’s presence, followed by a feeling of isolated distance. And this cycle may repeat itself many times. The same can be valid for intimacy. You might go through a period of intense passion, followed by playful exploration, then followed by routine intercourse.

It’s healthy to experience these fluctuations. In fact, not experiencing these repeated changes would be very concerning. Not experiencing these fluctuations would signify that one or both of you are clinging to the past and forcing the relationship to be a certain way. On the other hand, a lack of growth and change would signify relationship stagnation. Stagnation can happen for many reasons, but the most common causes are resentment, abuse, or outgrowing the current relationship.

Creating a spiritual connection with your partner isn’t about brainwashing them into believing what you believe or liking what you like. Nor is making a spiritual connection about changing the other person to be more “spiritual.” Both of these approaches are immature and damaging to your relationship.

Instead, creating a spiritual connection is about deepening the Soul contact between you. A spiritual relationship is about becoming vulnerable, engaged, attentive, open, and receptive to the other person. Here are some ways to spiritually connect with your partner.

Give more eye contact.

One of the saddest things is couples that no longer give each other eye contact. These couples communicate with each other, often stringing out whole conversations without so much as a glance at the other. Eye contact is highly intimate. When you give your partner eye contact, you show them that you are interested and deeply engaged in what they’re saying. Eye contact is not only a sign of respect. It is the best way to connect with another person’s soul. Have you ever heard of “soul gazing”? Soul gazing is based on the premise that you can bathe in the waters of another person’s soul by staring into their eyes.

Explore what spiritual lessons your partner is teaching you.

Even if not knowingly, your partner’s behavior, words, and thoughts can teach you a lot. Having a spiritual connection is about learning to grow in your partnership spiritually. What is your partner teaching you? Remember, our partners often see our blind spots and can reveal a lot about ourselves, even unintentionally.

Set aside “us time” daily.

Sometimes, life is too chaotic to have the energy to maintain a relationship. One of the easiest things you can do is set aside time each day out of your busy schedule to sit with your partner exclusively. Even sitting together in each other’s arms on the couch watching a movie is an excellent way to start deepening your spiritual connection.

Openly communicate your feelings.

Most disconnected relationships lack open communication. Open communication is the ability to express your thoughts and feelings honestly while respecting your partner. Tell them when you feel hurt, angry, isolated, or any other emotion. Not even your partner can read your mind, so don’t make that assumption. Openly communicating how you feel is the cornerstone of an honest relationship based on mutual caring, respect, and love.

Practice self-love.

It’s true that without genuinely loving and embracing yourself as you are, you will struggle to love your partner unconditionally. Instead, you will impose endless expectations, demands, and beliefs on them, surrounding who they should be and how they should act. By practicing self-love and accepting all the light and darkness within you, you will deepen your spiritual connection with your partner. Actual change comes from within, so if you want your relationship to become more prosperous, you need to richer your relationship with yourself.

Forgive past hurts.

Holding onto grudges and mental tallies of wrongdoings is a surefire way to sully any relationship. The more you hold onto grievances, the more isolated and distant you will feel from your partner. If you tend to hold grudges, try to make space for yourself to let go and open your heart to forgiveness. Most likely, you may need to openly communicate how you feel to your partner in a respectful and non-violent manner to seek closure.

Having a spiritual connection with your partner can be a beautiful thing. It can deepen your relationship and draw you two closer together. If you feel that your relationship with your partner is lacking, take these steps to foster a deeper connection with your partner. If you put in the work, you’ll see the changes you want in your relationship.