We all realize that life can be busy when you have kids in the house. Your schedule, which includes school events, sports games, and other extracurricular activities, causes you to collapse in bed when the day is over. However, once the kids from high school are off to begin their lives, leaving you with plenty of time, or in some cases, not really knowing your spouse. This can put strain on a marriage because not only do some parents need to know what to do with their time, but they also need to rediscover each other.
The Bible says that two shall become one flesh, meaning their lives aren’t independent but interdependent with God and each other. When couples feel distant from each other, burying themselves in their work or other things to ignore their biggest problem is easy. Their most significant problem is that they haven’t focused on their marriage, but this doesn’t have to be the case. Couples can revive themselves and, in doing so, revive each other during this new life chapter. Here are some ways couples can prioritize their marriage once they become empty nesters.
Go on regular date nights.
One of the ways couples fail to put each other first the most is they don’t have enough fun together. When a couple starts dating, they enjoy learning about each other, learning about their likes and dislikes, dreams and hopes. However, once they have kids, couples become so focused on raising their kids that they forget to discover each other. No matter how long a couple has been married, there are still some things you can find out about each other. Make an intention to have regular date nights.
They don’t have to be expensive to have fun. You can try activities like a dinner and a movie. You could also try new things. You can prioritize date nights by doing some internet research to find out what’s in your area. However, if you like to travel, find a place for the two of you to go that you’d like to discover together. You could discover a new type of food or try a new hiking trail. If you have a tight budget, try to find inexpensive activities to do. Whatever you decide, make sure you do it on a regular basis and avoid as much screen time as possible. That way, you find the lost art of communication. Make it a point to put away all devices and phones and find each other again through intimate conversation.
Pray together.
This idea sounds simplistic, but regularly praying together is probably the best way to prioritize your marriage. Not only do you share your prayer requests, but you’ll also be able to uphold each other in prayer. You’ll find burdens your spouse has that you didn’t know existed. Take turns in prayer and talk to God out loud. Make some room to sit in silence together by holding hands and being in each other’s presence and God’s presence. Ask God to share His words with you, and at the end of the time together, share what God put in your hearts. Ask God to share words for your spouse to say to you to uplift you.
Find hobbies.
Now that life isn’t centered around your kids, couples may find that they have more time to do things that interest them. It’s good to have hobbies independent from each other, but an excellent bonding experience can be finding a hobby that couples enjoy. A couple who are opposites in their dislikes and likes might find this challenging at first. On a piece of paper, write down things that interest your spouse. Initially, some couples might not have any matches, but you can figure out the common thread between the interests. For example, do you both like to help people? Do you have a common goal for the future, like making more money or learning a new skill? When you break down the reason why it makes them happy, they might find that they have more in common than they think.
Forgive each other.
Forgiveness lies at the center of a strong marriage. In 1 John 1:9, we read that God will cleanse us from all unrighteousness if we confess our sins. If some wounds and hurts have gone unforgiven, it can make you see your spouse in a bad light. Due to this, they’ll be less likely to want to spend time together or continue to put any effort into building a good relationship. Take time with God and ask Him if any areas of the marriage need forgiveness. God designed marriage and wants couples to develop the strongest bond possible between them. He will reveal any overt or covert issues in your marriage. Forgiveness might be challenging, but you should choose to forgive your spouse, even if you don’t want to. The cross of Christ covers all sins; even in our humanity, we have challenges letting go of. God respects our hearts and will be glorified when we decide to forgive, even if our feelings aren’t there yet.
Another essential ingredient to a good marriage is to love each other with no strings attached, meaning learning to accept the other’s flaws, quirks, and weaknesses. Jesus loves us, flaws and all, and we should do the same with our spouses. We are human and put conditions on our love, but God’s will is to love each other with no conditions. As we love each other this way, we show the world a better example of Christ, and it’s also an act of worship. We honor God when we love each other the way He loves us.
A good marriage is one of the best ways to attain completeness. When your children leave the nest, fulfillment is more necessary than ever. By following these steps, you might not only be able to live your life with meaning and purpose, but you might also cultivate a loving bond that will last forever.
