7 Marriage Tips for Lifelong Lasting Love

Shutterstock.com

Do you remember how you felt when you first met "the one"? It was likely an exciting time as you prepared to embark on a lifetime of love with your soulmate. All too often, however, that love that feels so all-consuming in the early stages can go cold as the years pass. To keep that love from diminishing, couples need to be intentional about building and developing their relationship. It won’t happen by accident, marriages like any good relationship require work. But the effort required will be far outweighed by the benefits to creating a marriage that is built to last.o you

Some key skills and principles will help fan the flame of your romance and keep your marriage strong. National Marriage Week USA (Feb. 7 to 14) exists to help strengthen marriages around the country and highlight the importance of marriage to our society. To celebrate National Marriage Week, here are 7 tips to help married or engaged couples start well and stay on solid footing for the long haul.

Communicate Well

Shutterstock.com

Communication is obviously the key to any great relationship. There are some important principles to remember as you seek to communicate well with your spouse. First, make sure you are really listening to one another. We don’t really “hear” what another person is saying because we either react defensively or think only of what we want to say in response. Let your spouse know that you have heard them and understood their feelings. Secondly, learn how to wisely make your deepest needs known. Certainly do not bury your feelings, but learn to recognize and express what are really important issues and what are more minor.

Thirdly, avoid saying “You always…” or “You never…” Learn to express how actions make you feel (“When you do Y, it makes me feel Z”). Ask directly for forgiveness (“Will you forgive me?”), and respond with forgiveness (“Yes, I forgive you”). Holding hands when you talk helps break a cycle of anger. Finally, pray together - research has shown that couples who pray privately and regularly together have vastly more successful marriages.

Begin with the End in Mind

Shutterstock.com

It is hard to imagine when you are young, but one day you will be old and potentially lonely. Your kids will have their own lives. If you carefully tend to your marriage, there will be the succor of companionship with someone who has been a witness to most of your entire life. Research shows that married people have longer lives, better health, more personal happiness, and having both parents in the same home provides by far the best environment for raising children. Keep those long term goals in mind. There are countless stories of folks who worked through the seemingly impossible middle years, and came out on the other side of comfort and companionship in old age. Plus, the best way for the average person to build financial security for old age is to stay married.