7 Scriptures for Troubled Married Couples

Shutterstock.com

For a few decades now, it’s been no secret that divorce is something that reportedly half of all married Americans, seemingly both in and out of the church, do. And if you tack onto that the fact that over 20 percent of men and almost 20 percent of women have admitted to cheating on their spouse, some might wonder if getting married is even worth it.

And then there’s the flip side. Not only is there solid data supporting the fact that marriage continues to be better for one’s health and longevity, but then there’s the spiritual element to consider. For one thing, the Bible opens up with the marriage of Adam and Eve and God himself declaring that it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). It also closes with “the marriage” of Christ to his Church. So clearly, from a spiritual perspective, no matter what the world is doing (Luke 6:26-Message), marriage is still a vital and relevant component of believers. A foundational relationship for the body of Christ.

So, no wonder that it continues to be a union that is so much under attack. Being that the word tells us that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but principalities (Ephesians 6:10-20), it’s important to keep in mind that if you are struggling in your marriage right now, you need to focus more on the benefits of marriage rather than its challenges. Malachi 2:16 tells us that God hates divorce, Matthew 19:6 tells us that what God has joined, no man should separate and the reason why these are critical things to keep in mind is because it’s a reminder that God is a part of the marital union. He’s in agreement with marriage. He’s a supporter of marriage. And he’s right there for you and your spouse, even in the bleakest and most trying of times.

God Can Heal Anything

“But He said, ‘The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.’” (Luke 18:27-NKJV)

It seems like not one week goes by when we don’t read an article about a celebrity whose marriage is either on the rocks or coming to an end. What it does is serve as a reminder that marriage is hard, no doubt about it. But if you’re someone who believes that it is also a faith-based institution, then you have to remember that 2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us that we walk by faith and not by sight. Not only that but the word tells us without faith, it’s impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). You have to have faith that God is right there with you and that he will provide you with the wisdom to come up with the best solution for your relationship (James 1:5). Without God, holding a marriage together can seem pretty close to impossible. With him, though, all things are possible!

Agreement Is Miraculous

“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:19-20-NKJV)

This is not simply a verse in scripture. This is a promise from the most high, the possessor of all things (Genesis 14:19) that where two are gathered, God is present. And where there is agreement, you can ask what you desire from the Lord and he will grant it. Having a covenant partner means that you always have someone to “claim this promise with” whenever you need it. To know that you and yours have this kind of access and power, why would you ever want to give it up?

Sexual Union Is Important

Shutterstock.com

“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (I Corinthians 7:1-5-NKJV)

Sex is a huge part of marriage. Not only is it a gift from the Lord and a physical act that cultivates oneness (Genesis 2:24-25), but as we see here in I Corinthians 7, it is also a form of protection from sexual immorality and the strategems of Satan. When you’re not communicating as effectively as you would like, when there are financial pressures and professional demands, when you feel like you are at the lowest point in your marital relationship, that is not the time to pull away from your spouse. That is the time to come as close to them as possible. Sex is not just about physical activity and pleasure. The Message Version of I Corinthians 6:16 tells us that “Sex is as much of a spiritual mystery as it is a physical fact.” Some truly special, sacred and intimacy-cultivating things transpire when a husband and wife join in sexual union. It’s not simply “something to do”. It is a powerful experience - mentally, emotionally, physically and yes, spiritually.

The Holy Spirit Teaches

“But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you.” (John 14:26-AMP)

Wives, here’s something that just might bring a smile to your face. Have you ever noticed that in Genesis 2:18, God describes you as a helper and then as you see in John 14:26, the Holy Spirit is described as being the same thing? Not only that, but the Hebrew word for help, in the form of a wife, is Ezer Kenegdo which basically translates into “lifesaver”. Ladies, as a wife, you are in great spiritual company! You also have a very privileged position of being a “lifesaver” and also someone who brings favor to your husband (Proverbs 18:22). Allow the Holy Spirit, the ultimate helper, to show you how to comfort, be an advocate, intercede, counsel, strengthen and standby your husband. You have so much more power than you think!

Forgive to Be Forgiven

Shutterstock.com

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15-NKJV)

A wise man once said that a healthy marriage is made up of two good forgivers. That said, it’s important to remember that divorce was not permitted by Moses due to adultery, but a hard heart (Matthew 19:1-12); one that tends to come from built-up resentment, frustration and anger. Your spouse is not perfect and sometimes their weaknesses and flaws can make being in a relationship with them irritating, at best. But you know what? You are not perfect either, yet God still loves you and is there for you whenever you need him. One of the best ways to become more like God is to love and forgive your spouse. And let us also not forget that the way to be forgiven, by God, is to forgive others as well. How much forgiveness should you give? Well, how much forgiveness do you need (Matthew 18:21-35)?

Believers Make Their Home Holy

“But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.”---I Corinthians 7:12-14(NKJV)

Sometimes the challenge in marriage comes from either being married to someone who has a different faith than you or someone has strayed away from the faith that you both were once very strong in. There’s no doubt about it that when this is the case, it can be hard to be on the same page, especially spiritually. Thankfully, the Apostle Paul was inspired (2 Timothy 3:16-17) to remind us of the fact that the believing spouse in the marital union still brings holiness to it and to the children that came from the relationship. And you know what Christ said about a true believer: “all things are possible to them that believe” (Mark 9:23). Believe that this is just a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Believe that God makes all things beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Believe that, this too, shall pass. And that brighter days are ahead.

Love with Compassion

Shutterstock.com

“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”---I Peter 3:8-9(NKJV)

It’s oftentimes the case that the closest people to us are the ones who we fail to be the most “biblical” towards. Marriage needs to be a place where compassion, love, tenderheartedness, courtesy and not “getting back at each other” exist. And remember that God cannot lie (Titus 1:2). His word states that by being this way, you will inherit a blessing. Just like his word also says that if you suffer for righteousness’ sake, if you honor your vows (Ecclesiastes 5:1-17), if you’re willing to endure to trials and tribulations within your marriage for the sake of the love you have for your spouse (I Corinthians 13:7-8), you are blessed. By God. The very creator of marriage itself.