How to Know You're in a Kingdom Marriage

Is Christ at the Center?

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Many Christian couples strive for God to be at the center of their marriages, but are completely confused about their roles, and how to make marriage pleasing to each other, and to God. Too many couples have followed the ways of the world in dealing with marital difficulties that they fall into marital distress. Over time, they can no longer stand. We can turn to God’s Word for insight on what His plan really is for marriage. The Bible tells us, “So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6). In order to have a successful marriage, we must become kingdom-minded. Kingdom marriage is God’s design and purpose for your marriage. It shares not only passion, but more important, purpose in God. When we’re in a kingdom marriage, you can experience the vibrant, abundant marriage God intends for you to have. Here are six ways to know you’re in a kingdom marriage.

Jesus Christ Is the Foundation

Scripture tells us that every man is under Christ. When Paul wrote this in his letter to the Corinthians, he was referencing believers. A Christian man has Jesus Christ in headship over him. This is not only a biblical truth, but also a foundational part of a healthy marriage. Unfortunately, this is rarely taught or addressed. So many who teach on the concept of submission focus on the wife’s submission to her husband, and yet in that very same verse is found the mandate for the husband’s submission under Christ. In fact, a man is defined biblically as “a male who has learned to submit his maleness to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.” In a kingdom marriage, Jesus Christ is at the head.

You Both Honor Each Other

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At the heart of all truly loving relationships is the biblical concept of honor. It is one of the most powerful tools a husband and a wife can use to have a lasting and intimate marriage. In the Bible, wives are told to give honor to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22) and husbands to give honor to their wives (1 Peter 3:7). In the Old Testament, the word dishonor means “to give something little to no weight or value.” When we dishonor our spouses, we are saying what they have to share is of little value. When we’re in a kingdom marriage, we seek to honor each other no less, to love each other no less, and to expand God’s dominion and rule no less through all we do in our marriages.

You Both Seek Understanding

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Kingdom marriage reflects a desire for understanding. The Bible tells us, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). This same principle should be applied to your marriage. Too many couples put their own needs before the needs of the marriage. It’s important that you seek to intentionally understand your spouse’s needs and what they feel is lacking. Once we know this, we should try to meet as many of these needs as possible. If communication has been walled off so much that you don’t even know your spouse’s needs, you need to ask.

You Manage Your Resources with God In Mind

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Do you give the Lord and His kingdom your best effort when it comes to using His resources for eternal purposes? If your answer is yes, you’re on the right track. Or are you like many of us who spend our energy simply trying to make ends meet or increase our standard of living? As a kingdom couple you should manage the resources God has given you out of gratitude for His generous grace and out of reverence, believing God is holy and will hold you accountable for the way you manage the gifts He has given you. When we are thankful, we can steward what God has given us in a way that is pleasing and acceptable to Him.