Has your relationship lost the zeal it once had and it seems you are just going through the motions? It may be time to step back and take inventory to figure out what went awry.
Similar to the changing of seasons in the natural order of life, so to love follows a similar model. Bishop T.D. Jakes said in an interview with Steve Harvey on relationships, "Young couples can get swept up in the euphoria of romantic love without ever realizing that love ebbs and flows through the seasons and stages of life." When a once budding and lively new relationship fizzles out it can bring the couple to an immediate halt. But there’s hope because just like the leaves fall and make way for the bitter grip of winter, spring and summer inevitably return to bring life anew.
If you’ve found yourself recently asking the question, “Why Is My Relationship So Boring?” it’s probably an indicator you’re going through a change of season. The first thing to recognize is every season is vital and necessary for growth. It’s impossible to sustain a companionship with absolutely no drama or occasional boredom. Here are some reasons things may have cooled down:
#1 The 'newness' has worn off – The thrill may be gone because the relationship has surpassed its season of being a new discovery. In the beginning it’s easy for things to seem exciting and there’s no work to put in to keep things vibrant. When the newness wears off, however, it’s not time to throw in the towel. This just means that particularly season has passed and you're entering a different one.
#2 A predictable routine has formed and you've stopped getting to know each other – Is it easy to anticipate what happens next? When your plans revolve around, dinner, movies, shopping and you fall into a somber routine of uneventful dating, it can snuff the life out of your relationship leaving you both just going through the motions.
#3 The relationship is staying at the surface level – The bond has literally flat lined. You’ve been on the same level for a while and the relationship has not advanced beyond the surface. Staying on the plain of superficiality is detrimental to deepening intimacy and relationship growth. In order for a relationship to thrive it must go deep in order to take root.
#4 Refusing to address issues – Fear of conflict can stop a relationship dead in its tracks. Couples who are afraid to stand up for themselves or correct issues that violate personal values will become lifeless. Transparency and a willingness to confront each other will prune the union in the short-term but bring forth fruit in the long-term.
#5 You stopped being intentional – The hard truth is that great relationships are built…brick by brick. It takes work and consistent intentionality. Make an effort to refuse the mundane and take control of the direction of your future together.
These are just some of the reasons love goes stale. Seasons change and if handled properly they can lead to even greater growth. Be purposeful in cultivating love and don’t be afraid of the peaks and valleys along the way.
