5 Ways to Influence Your Teen’s Faith

The Power to Influence

For years, we’ve been told that once our kids go off to high school and college, they are beyond parental influence. While this myth isn’t supported by any research, or biblical teaching, many parents subscribe to this belief system. They believe they can no longer do anything to shape their kids’ spiritual and life decisions after they hit the age of young adulthood. This is far from the case. In fact, research has found that the years of transitioning into adulthood is the period where young adults need the most guidance. Here are five ways to influence your teen’s faith, based on the book “It’s Not Too Late: The Essential Part You Play In Shaping Your Teen’s Faith,” by author and campus ministry expert Dan Dupee. These tips, along with the others in the book will help you develop influence in your child’s life when they feel like they’re losing control, center on home as the place of greatest opportunity to grow faith and invite others to invest in your child’s life.

Form a Foundation of Wisdom and Prayer

It’s important that parents establish a foundation of wisdom with their child to help them grow in their faith walk. Dupee offers the following four truths from the biblical wisdom literature that can serve as a foundation to guide you on your journey to shaping your child’s faith: (1) wisdom is different than knowledge, (2) Our Gracious God is the only source of wisdom, (3) God is generous rather than stingy with wisdom (4)From the perspective of wisdom, parenting is a series of pathways, not a formula. None of these suggestions, along with influence can happen without influence. Keep God at the center of any conversation and every situation with your child.

Move from Control to Conversation

Parents have a sense of control early in their child’s life and when they’re young, it’s easier to issue directives. But as your child develops the capacity to understand their choices, and life becomes more complex, it’s important that you move from control and commands to conversation. The onus for making Christ-honoring decisions shifts from parent to child once our children begin to age. Instead of telling your child what they should be doing regarding their faith, ask questions and listen. This will allow your child to explore their own thoughts and feelings, while still feeling like they are being respected under the loving care of their parent.

Invite Community

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The Bible not only addresses but endorses community, as a model to be in fellowship with others outside our immediate family. It’s important that parents invite community into your child’s faith experience by allowing other Christians to speak into the life of their child. According to Dupee, Christian families who raise their children in relative isolation will lack access to one of the six influences that boost their kids’ likelihood to become faithful followers of Christ. Our children will benefit from other believing adults when these relationships are consistent, and we have relationships with other Christ-centered adults. They need other adults around them who demonstrate what it means to be in the world but not of it.

Examine Parental Role Models In Scripture

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There are a number of parental role models throughout Scripture that we can learn a lot from. Abraham, the father of our faith and David, the great king of the Hebrew nation are great examples. While we often think of biblical figures as wearing halos, Scripture keeps it real. These models lied, they screwed up, and experienced failure but they grew in their experiences. These role models were used by God to do something extraordinary in history – build the kingdom of God. Get your child connected with Scripture so that they can learn about these figures, their struggles and their triumphs. You will both have an opportunity to see that God works with us in our failings, fears, dreams, confusions and relationships.

Give Your Kids a Glimpse behind the Curtain

We all struggle in life. Your children are no exception. Consider choosing and sharing a fear or struggle you have and sharing it with your kids (Make sure this is discussed with your spouse first). When we give our children a glimpse behind the curtain, we are allowing our children to internalize God’s promises, even when we encounter the challenges of everyday life. Through this example, they can begin to model this honesty in their own lives and self-expression. Through this process, we can explore and navigate God’s amazing grace. This can also model being an enduring influence the entire life of your child.