After my intense prayer session at the flat screen last night, I went looking for an explanation for my behavior. I started with one of my favorite authors, Rabbi Harold Kushner. He’s the one who wrote the New York Times best selling book, .  Kushner dismisses the view “God always answers prayers but sometimes the answer is No.”  He logically concludes that ball games are won by a combination of skill and luck without God arranging the outcome. As for how prayer works; Rabbi Kushner says that prayer is the experience of being in the presence of God and we are changed by having had that experience.

I have an ongoing conversation with God. We never hang-up. If I’m busy, God knows to multi-task, I’ll be back shortly. Maybe I’m taking it too far or too literally. I truly do feel that I am never alone and God is always with me. It’s a comfort. I bring to God’s presence to a deeper level of conversation when I take the time each day to pray with fixed prayers. My prayers are no longer about finding a closer parking spot or even reaching 50 more friends on the Prayables Facebook page. I offer prayers of gratitude, praise and peace. I pray that I will be worthy and resilient to take whatever comes my way and do the very best I can.

 

I am so impatient,
sighing and stomping around my room.
I've been praying for a full year now.

Do You give points for faithfulness?
My numbers surely must impress.

What can I do to rush Your answer:
Light a candle?
Or should I fast?

Would you please give me a sign?
Nothing big, I'll know it's You.

OK- new prayer.
I get it.
"You who supply my every breath,
I beg You- teach me patience,
help me recognize a prayer answered."

You hear me.
I'll wait and watch.
Your timing is always perfect.