Busted: The Top 5 Myths about Aging

Myths

When it comes to attitudes about aging, most of what we read, see and hear is rooted in myths fueled by fear. In our action-packed, productivity-driven society, we view the losses and diminishments accompanying aging as something to be avoided at all costs, losing sight of the fact that there are riches and gains, as well.

Sometimes the fear is readily visible. Other times, the fear goes deeply underground, manifesting in prettier but equally damaging myths about growing older. Happily, there are a growing number of men and women who are busting through fear-based myths on all sides of the equation to discover the truth about aging. Following are “The Top 5 Myths about Aging”, helping you to exchange them for a healthier, more balanced view of what growing older can mean for you.

Carol Orsborn, Ph.D. is Founder of FierceWithAge, the Digest of Boomer Wisdom, Inspiration and Spirituality. Dr. Orsborn, who earned her doctorate in religion from Vanderbilt University, is the best-selling author of 21 books including her newest book: Fierce with Age: Chasing God and Squirrels in Brooklyn. (Spring 2013) Dr. Orsborn is a sought after speaker/retreat leader and spiritual director.

Aging is a Slow, Sad Decline

Have you bought into the notion that once you pass midlife, your life is basically over? This is a myth that belongs to another era in human history, and has no relationship to the truth about aging today. Here’s why: at the turn of the last century, the average lifespan was somewhere in the 40’s. In a pre-industrial era, your productive days would have been over long before you hit 50, if you lived that long.

Today, we live in a society where capabilities that are valued can actually grow stronger as we age: brain power over brawn. This, coupled with the longevity bonus many of us are experiencing, means that we can experience an extension of productivity and engagement for decades longer than generations past. We can use this to continue our work, if that’s what we want, but we can also use these added years to pursue our passions, enjoy unprecedented freedom, deepen and enjoy our relationships and grow spiritually.

Aging is a Vast Wasteland

Closely related to Myth < is the notion that not only is aging a slow, sad decline, but that nothing much happens to you any more once you’ve passed to the far side of midlife.

The truth is that one major research study has identified 42 life-changing events that routinely take place 50+. Some are happy events, such as the birth of a grandchild; other events, such as the loss of a spouse, are accompanied by a host of emotions, from grieving to anger.

Even the most challenging events at this later-in-life life stage can be occasions for dynamic growth and change, however. Just as challenging developmental milestones mark rites of passage in our earlier years, so are we likely to be more fully and passionately engaged than ever by rising to the various occasions life will bring our way as we age. There is nothing empty or boring about this time in our lives. We have the potential to be more fully alive than ever.

Old is Good, Young is Bad

The truth is that each life stage has its gifts and challenges. We privilege youth because we are more comfortable with the past. We know what to expect and how to engage in our lives to ensure the greatest degree of possible mastery.

Aging, however, is unexplored territory. Especially because we have seen people in the past do getting older poorly, we fear the worst. By going to extremes—either reviling or romanticizing aging—we miss the richness of the life stage, itself. But as one of my octogenarian friends puts it, with age, we not only have the opportunity to grow older, but to grow whole.

To reap the full potential of this later-in-life stage does require something of us, however. Aging asks us to engage more deeply with the mystery of life than ever before. Taste the spiritual fruits and the transcendent wisdom of age and you will love the young, but be glad you have lived long enough to enjoy the harvest.

60 is the New 40

While all of this is true—that we can arrive at the threshold of age anticipating a time of myth-busting passion and vitality—the truth is you cannot be, nor is it helpful for you, to aim to remain forever young.

“Deniers” of age either keep their heads in the sand and don’t deal with the shadow side of aging at all, or go into hyper-drive in an attempt to master the future. But even if you have extensive work done, eat and exercise right and dress a couple of decades younger than your parents did when they were your age, your body and life are still destined to undergo changes that real 40-year-olds haven’t even imagined.

For this reason alone, 60 is not the new 40. But there’s good news, too. Spend at least equal amounts of time cultivating self-love, acceptance, compassion and humility as you do keeping yourself as healthy, attractive and vital as possible, and 60 can, at least, be the new 60.

You Can Beat Aging

Read enough anti-aging ads, and you’ll walk away with the notion that aging is something nobody wants, but it is entirely beatable.

This, of course, is two myths packed in one. The first: that aging is something undesirable to be avoided at all costs. The second: that even if you wanted to, all you’d have to do is work hard enough at it and aging—and all that implies—is beatable.

The truth is that no matter how fervently we work to minimize the impact of growing older, aging is a natural part of the life cycle. We should no more be “anti-aging” than we would ever be “anti-childhood” or “anti-adolescence.” You may succeed in reducing some of your wrinkles—you may even change your diet and exercise routines so that you age as graciously and vitally as possible—but in the end, you will find yourself to be just as mortal as the rest of us.

Final Truth about Aging

So here’s the final truth about aging: even if you could beat aging, you could be cheating yourself out of a life stage with its own distinctive gifts and promises. When you stop buying into The 5 Top Myths of Aging, you open yourself to the adventures to be found on the far side of midlife.

You can be freer, less reactive, more passionate and more deeply connected than ever before in your life. As author Joan Chittister writes: “Now we are beyond the narcissism of youth, above the survival struggles of young adulthood, beyond the grind of middle-age…Now we can let our spirits fly. We can do what our souls demand that fully human beings do. This is the moment for which we were born.”