Disconnect to Connect

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There was a time when family dinner time was a sacred time. Families would gather around the table after a long day to enjoy their supper and talk. They would talk about their day, their jobs, sports, current events, it didn’t matter what the subject was but families openly communicated. Dinner time was a time when families across the globe would share meaningful conversations with their loved ones.

We now live in a society where our phones are constantly burrowing into our lives finding sneaky little ways to invade our personal space and family time. There is an expectation that we must always be available to everyone and this expectation is creating a road block in private family time.

The real world is so much better than the virtual world. Take a moment to read the steps below on how to reconnect with the important people in your life. When was the last time you actually stopped and had more than a five minute conversation with your family at dinner, without checking your phone? When was the last time you had a family meal with no cell phones present? If you cannot remember than you are missing out on creating priceless lifetime memories. It’s difficult to engage with the world around you when your nose is buried in your phone.

Here are five reasons why you should put the phone down and be present.

It’s rude.

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Let’s be totally honest, we all notice those people…the ones quietly sitting in a restaurant with their eyes fixated on their phones tapping away. We have noticed those people so much there is now a term for them, it’s called “Phubbing.” As defined in dictionary.com pphubbing is to ignore (a person or one’s surroundings) when in a social situation by busying oneself with a phone or a mobile device.

Using your phone at the dinner table is rude and sends them a message that the people who could potentially text, email or call you are more important than they then ones you are dining with. Dinner time is one of those times when it’s okay to take a break from our gadgets and gizmos. Focus on those that are breaking bread with you, be present. When you go out to dinner with people you are there to talk to them, not your Facebook friends, Instagram fans or Twitter followers.

You will miss out on memories.

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Whatever is on your phone can wait, the text messages will be there when dinner is over. The radiant smile on your loved ones faces may not. Don’t create an atmosphere where your loved ones feel as if they are competing with your phone for your attention.

How many times have you been at the dinner table, or out to dinner with friends and someone said something funny erupting into a big group belly laugh? If you are having a difficult time remembering because you are on the phone you all the time, you are missing out on creating important family memories. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so it’s important to cherish the time you have with family now.

When the table is set and the food that your family worked so hard to prepare is in front of you it’s time to put the phone away. It’s precious moments like sharing a family meal that you have to be thankful for. Enjoy it! Just like chewing with your mouth open or having both elbows on the table, texting during dinner is rude.

Dinner time is not for multitasking.

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We are a busy bunch, our lives are hectic. Dinnertime should not be a time when you are juggling talking to your family and answering a text or browsing social media.

It’s impossible to engage in a conversation with someone scrolling through Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. It’s even more difficult to have a meaningful conversation with someone texting. Their answers are often delayed, short and many times we feel as if we are bothering them.

God created a beautiful world filled of wonder. He also gave us the ability to socialize and converse. Our techonology is taking us away from what’s real, what’s important and the important people around us.

You cannot be present with someone in real life and be on your phone at the same time. Put the phone away and give your loved ones the gift of being present. Being present is a priceless gift that lasts a lifetime. If you’re having dinner with friends and family, be with them and put the phone away. Simply put it’s rude behavior. Regardless of the person’s intentions, it clearly communicates that the person using their phone has better, more interesting things to attend to.

Get obsessed with your loved ones, not your phones.

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We are obsessed with our phones. We sleep with them, eat with them, carry them in our pockets daily, some of us even have them nearby when showering and/or sleep with them on our nightstand. Think about the last time you misplaced your cell phone. Did you break out in a cold sweat and panic? We spend more time interacting with our cell phones than with the people sitting directly in front of us.

Human beings are built for social interaction and that is something a technology cannot replicate. Your family will remember sitting at the table talking to you even if you don’t have 500 photos to prove it. And that means more than anything. Imagine having a verbal conversation with someone and they stop dead in the middle of the conversation to talk to someone else. That is a “is this real life moment.” When you stop a verbal conversation to text someone else you are basically doing the same thing. Put the devices down during dinner and start getting obsessed with your love ones, they will thank you for it.

It will have a negative impact on your social skills.

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Your social skills are vital to your ultimate success in life. They can be negatively impacted by spending too much time on your phone and ignoring the individuals that are seated across from us at the dinner table. As small children we build our social skills with our families at the dinner table. It is impossible to build proper social skills at the dinner table when the entire family is glued to their phones. Nothing can replace a face to face conversation. Face to face conversations is one of the most humanizing activities we do. It’s where we learn the acts of empathy and compassion. It is where we learn the joy of being heard and discussing our problems. It’s where we built relationships. Face to face conversations build a rapport that cannot be felt over email or phone and it will help build camaraderie, credibility and trust in the relationship. How many times has an email been misunderstood, misread or perceived by another party to be rude when it’s not? Face to face conversations minimize the risk of miscommunication compared to email or over the phone. Do not let texting become a substitute for this or you will miss out on countless memories and vital human skills.

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Sit back and think, do you remember the last time you had a verbal meaningful conversation at the dinner table with someone? Not one that was a text with a generic “LOL” one that had actual, genuine laughter? A family dinner that had eye contact and meaningful conversation? If you cannot remember then it’s time to put all your devices down and learn the importance of being present at dinner time. Stop missing out on precious memories to check your social media and start being in the now. Your family and friends will thank you. And if there is an emergency, like a love one getting hospitalized, let’s all assume that that will warrant an actual phone call and not a text or something that you will find out by browsing social media.