Getting to Know Yourself Better, By Margarita Tartakovsky, Health, Happiness, Confidence

Strip Away the Shoulds

Often our identities contain at least some shards of shoulds. In other words, we strive to be what we think we should be. These shoulds may derive from society or our family and friends. I should like this. I should be that. I should behave in this way. I should say that. Who we are gets confused with and buried under the layers of who we think we should be. Strip away the shoulds, and think about who you really are. Simply ask, “Who am I?” You can start with statements like “I am a daughter” or “I am a writer” and progress to “I am happiest when I’m laughing with friends” or “I am learning to be kinder to myself.” This exercise can take many forms. If you’d like, write down whatever statements surface.

Create a Personal Board

Go through books, blogs, magazines and any other materials to find the words and images that resonate with you. Cut them out and paste them into your journal, a big poster board or even a file folder. Then when you’re finished, consider what this might reveal about your personality and preferences. You can even make the personal board a monthly or yearly tradition, and notice what changes.

Getting to know yourself is a process. These exercises are just the beginning in peeling back the layers of you. Sometimes the process may be empowering, other times intimidating. Either way, always remember that this isn’t about judgment or criticism. It’s about self-discovery and curiosity. You’re already enough.