6 Practices That Will Radically Transform Your Life

shutterstock.com

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg.” - C. S. Lewis

Personal transformation is seldom a quick and easy process. It’s hard enough to find 10 minutes in the morning to meditate, let alone to shift our entire worldview. Yes, there are the rare few who have a “wake-up call,” and achieve swift transformation from a profound epiphany or fortuitous life changing experience. For most people, it takes significant effort and time to alter old patterns, habits, and beliefs. The more ingrained our thinking and behavioral patterns, the more intentional we need to be about change and growth. If you want to quickly transform unhelpful and destructive patterns you’ll need to confront your beliefs head on and create new experiences.

Here are six practices to help you transformation into a more fulfilled, joyful, and courageous person.

Help people you don't like.

Shutterstock.com

To love our enemy is easier said than done. When we feel slighted or offended it’s natural to cling to resentment, bitterness, and anger. Unfortunately as the saying goes, “Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

When we hold on to anger and bitterness we’re only hurting ourselves. We block our ability to experience compassion and end up carrying a heavier load of emotional baggage.

If you want to transform your life and have greater peace of mind, you need to cultivate compassion. Psychologist and author Rick Hanson defines compassion as, “…the wish that beings not suffer – from subtle physical and emotional discomfort to agony and anguish – combined with feelings of sympathetic concern.”

This definition includes even the people we aren’t so fond of. When we grow compassion for people we don’t agree with or don’t like, an emotional burden is lifted. We can shift from bitter, negative judgement into generosity and caring. Start with a simple act of kindness or a small favor, and build from there.

Approach your aversions.

Shutterstock.com

What is something that you tend to cringe at or resist when people bring it up? Is it politics or religion? Is it a person you don’t understand whom is drastically different than you?

In Buddhism this is called aversion and is one of the three afflictions. Aversion is a sense of disgust, disdain, or rejection, and it blocks us from joy. I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t feel this way but I am suggesting you control your emotional reactions when faced with these emotional triggers.

When we open-up and embrace what we don’t agree with, we can expand emotionally instead of constricting and adversely reacting. We can transform cynicism and contempt into a state of curiosity and consideration, and in doing so can engage in life with less suffering and greater empathy.

Stop blaming and admit your faults.

Shutterstock.com

It isn’t easy to admit when we’re wrong. No one likes to be wrong. But when we can acknowledge our mistakes and weaknesses we’re taking the first step to ownership and accountability.

It’s hard to admit that we’re responsible for our life circumstances, but as speaker and life-coach Jason Goldberg says, when we take responsibility for our life, even for the bad stuff, we can start to do something about it. When we take ownership we stop feeling like a victim and are permitted to make change.

Next time you feel the urge to blame, take a deep breath and step into the mentality of self-leadership. From here you can take responsibility for your actions and make choices that improve the situation you’re facing.

Let go of attachments.

trenttsd/Flickr.com

What material possession do you value? Materialism isn’t a bad thing but it can alter our perspective on what’s most important in life. Let’s say your car gets scratched or dented. Are you able to acknowledge that it’s just a scratch and really doesn’t impact your life? Or do you freak out, get enraged, and let it ruin you week?

A meaningful life doesn’t come from what we own or how much money we have. It comes from who we are, and from our experiences and connection with people. If you want to improve your self-worth and well-being, loosen your attachment on the impermanent and external, and start to look inward for significance and purpose instead.

Create a source of power that is internal and you can build a strong and unshakable foundation for your life.

Face what scares you.

How much does fear inhibit you from living the life you want to live? Do you hold back and play it safe instead of doing the things that would better your life?

We’re afraid of change because it’s uncertain. We avoid rocking the boat because we’re worried we won’t be able to handle what gets stirred up. When we give in to our fear we limit ourselves, but when we face our fear we minimize it. We learn that we can handle fear and it doesn’t have to stop us.

Facing our fear will require discomfort. It will require trying something new and unfamiliar. But more importantly, it means greater possibilities and freedom to live a full, rich, and expressive life.